Pup E Love

LOST and THEN FOUND: BERRY BEAR

2012-02-01T20:18:00.003-06:00

Today I picked up my new-to-me-couch. My ex helped me pick it up and we took it to the storage unit. I started thinking about how its going to be when I do finally move out of our house. I cried just thinking about it. Its going to be so hard to leave my first home. I am sure its going to be hard for him to see another person walk out of his life AGAIN. He will be alone once again. That makes me feel so sad for him. I TRIED in my heart I know I TRIED!!! I will always love him and I will hope he will always be in my life.

Yesterday when we were going thru some of the boxes I found a stuffed bear that he had gotten me when we first got together. We named him Berry Bear. I use to dress him up in Jerry's clothes for fun and I would leave him on the bed. Jerry use to squish his nose and make a noise that made me laugh. I thought about Berry Bear a while back and wondered what ever happened to him because I couldn't find him. So when I found him in a box (unharmed from damage from mice)in storage I lifted him up and yelled BERRY BEAR!!! I was so excited to find him. Jerry walked over to me and squished his nose and made that noise. I laughed and then started crying. I put Berry Bear back in the box and just said out loud "that sucks" I don't even think Jerry even noticed I was crying. That was back when we were happy...a LONG time ago.

Sorry Little Gecko

2012-01-31T20:50:00.003-06:00

Yesterday one of my clients asked if I knew anyone who wanted a free couch and so I decided to take it for the home I don't have yet.
So today I went to look to see if there was any room in our storage unit. The next thing you know we are moving things out and tossing things away. I have a friend who is also sharing this unit with us. So I went through all the boxes and put all of hers on one side and all of mine on the other side. Then I realized that I am not going to have room for the couch with everything in there. So we decided to get another storage unit just for the furniture that I am taking. I was moving some of the boxes I saw a very fat gecko he was very slow moving maybe because he was so fat. Well I moved one of the boxes and he wasn't fast enough and I stepped on him..UUGGGHHH!!!! I felt soooo bad. I looked down quickly and noticed he was still moving and I didn't want him to suffer. I told Jerry to make sure he was dead. He just looked at me and just said uuugghh your such a .....then didn't say anything. He finally took care of the little gecko. I said a little prayer for him and apologized to God for killing him. (Sigh)

I was thinking that I should get a part time job to help get my car paid off sooner. I will think more on that idea tomorrow. I think it is do able. I can get up in the morning and if I have pet sitting I can get that done before work. Then after work I can get my afternoon pet sitting done, then go to second job. After that then I can do my even shift pet sitting. hmmmm Will not leave much time for to much else. I would want a very mindless part time job. I really don't want to wait for another 1.5 yrs to get out on my own. I guess I will really think about it.

Well going to bed for now.

Trying to blog again

2012-01-30T20:39:00.004-06:00

Well, I haven't really had time to write with all that's been going on in my life. I figure I should try again since so much of my life is changing.

I am working on getting my own place but it seems like this car payment of mine is going to hold me back for a little while.

Yes, I can trade it in for another car and cheaper payment, but that means that I would still have a payment AND then my ex will not pay me the $400/monthly.

If I just stick with my plan and just pay this car off I will be debt free when I get out of this house and into my own place. I will need ALL my money to be able to afford a place for me and my dogs and horses.
Some people have told me to just sell my horses and get rid of my dogs. I truly have to say that those people have NO CLUE WHO I AM!!!

I just need to stay focused on my dream and my goals. I have been getting in such a hurry toget out and its been causing me some unwanted stress.

I sold my motorcycle after I got divorced and I have also paid off my student loan!!! YEAH ME!! So the only debt that I have is this car.

I was really sad that I had to give up my ballroom dancing. I soo miss it but I just couldn't afford it anymore. Ballroom dancing was a big part of my life for 6 years. I still see a couple of people from the studio once in a while but that's it. Maybe after I get my home then I can see where my finances stand.

I have been truly blessed with a great support team!! They keep me grounded and somewhat sane...lol

On a differenr note....I have never really been one to cook. But lately that is what I have been doing. I get so excited about a new recipe and just can wait to try it.

I just recently made chicken and dumplings, baked salmon with pecan crunch with broc and cheese cass. and tonight I made broiled tilapia Parmesan with green bean cass. This was the first time I have EVER cooked fish. They turned out really good.

I just cant wait to get my own home. I have a small "pantry" in my car so when I go pet sitting at someones house I have my spices and dry goods so that I can cook at their house and not have to keep buying the same stuff over and over.

Well, I hope to write more tomorrow.

2011-08-01T19:44:00.002-05:00

Well, I had a great weekend in Port A with my best friend Kareen and her son Cole. We stayed a the Beach Gate Hotel which was right on the beach. The next day we went deep sea fishing. It was great!!! I have never gone deep sea fishing before so I wasn't sure what to expect. We all took dramamine before we went because we didn't want to chance getting sick. Once we stopped at our first place Kareen got sick. She was really trying to be there for Cole but she just couldn't do it. It was a slow day with the fish and not many of us caught fish. There was 1 king fish and 3 sharks that were caught. Unfortunately, I didn't catch anything but that is okay I think I would still do it again. It was a cool experience.

I have decided to move my horses out of Renees place. I want my horses to be able to graze all day and I found a place with my good friend Shelley, her fiance and his mom. She has 30 acres and had room for two more horses.
My boys will be leaving this Sat after 12noon.
They have also offered me a place to put a travel trailer if I wanted to move out there as well. I would be able to put up a fence to keep my pups with me as well. I am so torn on what to do. Do I just be patience and wait until I get my car paid off in two years and then try and get land and a mobile home? OR do I get a travel trailer and move out now and be with my horses and my pups NOW!?? Then when I get my car paid off get my land and mobile home.

Maybe I just need to sit and quite my mind and maybe the answer will come.

Where do I start?

2011-06-01T19:33:00.003-05:00

Its been awhile since I have put my thoughts down. I think I need to start blogging about my life again.

I started out this year saying "this is the year for change". Three months ago I decided to tell my husband that I wanted to separate. After some talking we both decided that divorce would be the best thing. I didn't fight it this time. I think we were both ready to make take the next steps. Its been a long time coming. We both have been very unhappy for many years. We still love each other and we will continue to live together in the same house until I am able to get out financially. I am giving myself 2 years.

Good Bye My Best Friend....Shiloh, I LOVE YOU!!!

2010-04-06T21:14:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was a very difficult day for me. My horse Shiloh passed away during the night. I loved him soo much and I will miss him. I will write more when I am able.

MEET DREAMER

2009-11-14T10:04:00.007-06:00

This is Dreamer, my new horse!

He is about 9 years old and at least 16.2 hands tall. He needs lots of work but thats okay. I was told he had been worked with but not sure how much. So we decided to start like he doesn't know anything. I am not in a big hurry since I do still have Shiloh. I just figured that since Shiloh is getting older (~27years old), it would be good for me to get another horse and start working on a bond and trust. Dreamer has an eye issue so we will have to get him to a vet and just see how bad it is. He is really jumping on that side with the bad eye. Its to be expected...we just have to work on it. Trust will be the key to working with his blind side and having a safe horse.

We worked on basic despooking things today. He seemed to do fine with me putting a blanket on him. I am working on his right side more since that is he bad side. I want him to feel safe and trust me.

I even put a plastic garbage bag on him from both sides and he did really well with that. I am so proud of him.

I even picked up all four of his feet. He is not so sure of his back right leg. We need to work on that tomorrow.

Here he is just being really cute...he really just wants ANOTHER TREAT!!!!

Dancing with the group

2009-11-14T09:17:00.001-06:00

Last night I went out with the Arthur Murray Dance Studio. We went to the Dallas Night club on Burnett. We haven't been there for a long time since it was closed down, so we decided to start going again. It has really changed, there is NO smoking which makes it really nice and there was no crowd. For a club owner that would not be a good thing, but for us who like to dance without a lot of rude drunk people its NICE!!!

There was this guy that asked me to dance, he wasn't from our group but I danced with him anyway. He asked me how I knew the group I was with and I told him that I take lessons. He told me that he taught dance lessons but not ballroom. So we danced and he "taught" me how to dance. Then he came back and one of the guys that was at our table walked away right at the time this guy was going to say something. This is where he said "gee he must be the gayest guy in the club". I didn't say anything...I just looked at him. He asked me to dance a couple of times after that and the last time I left him on the dance floor. He started dancing with me and started saying "you know I am pissing your dance instructor off don't you"? I said no, not at all we do this all the time and we can dance with anyone. He said " NO i am pissing him off..he doesn't know me. He is pissed that I have you out here and he doesn't". I had stopped dancing at this time and I told him that it was by choice I wasn't out dancing at times. He said no its not. I said you know thanks and I walked off. He didn't come around for most the of the night. When he finally came back he walked up to me and I looked away and he stood by the side of me and said that he was sorry....I acted like I didn't hear him and I made him say it again. I told him thanks and I looked away from him and he walked off.

WOW!!! YEAH ME...I would have NEVER done that.

My Thoughts and Prayers

2009-10-04T16:49:00.003-05:00

This weekend while I was on my way to check on pets as I came across an accident. It was really bad. It involved a car and ....a motorcycle. Unfortunately, the person on the motorcycle did not make it. As I drove by I noticed three people on the side of the street. 2 guys and 1 girl, I am assuming that they are the ones in the car. One of the guys had his hand on his head like he was in disbelief. I am guessing he was the one driving. The motorcycle was on the side of the road in pieces. I think the person on the bike was already in the coroner truck by the time I got there and the police were marking the road with the spray paint.

My heart went out to ALL parties involved. I felt awful for the guy who was driving the car. I wonder what was going through his mind as he was standing next to his friends. His friends were standing there staring at the car looking like they were in both in shock. I felt sorry of course for the life that was lost. My heart ached for the individual who's family will be getting that dreaded phone call saying that their loved one will not be coming home. I thought about the police officer/officers who had to let the family know. How will each of these lives heal from such a terrible tragedy? How will it affected each one of their lives?

I drove by the accident spot later that day. I noticed that the only things left to show that there was any sign of an accident was the paint on the pavement and pieces of the motorcycle and the helmet that once protected the individuals head. For the next few days I will have to drive by that spot. I will say a prayer for all the individuals involved.

My heart, thoughts and prayers are with them all.

Tired and Exhausted

2009-08-08T10:39:00.004-05:00

I am exhausted and tired. I work a full time job and a part time job (pet sitting). I am sometimes gone away from home up to 12 to maybe a week at times. I am still expected to come home and clean, cook and pay bills. I wouldn't mind doing this if it was just once in awhile...but its all the time. I am so tired by the time I get home I don't have the energy to do any of it. I have asked and asked sometimes through tears for help. But still nothing. A marriage is a partnership...I thought..... but apparently not in mine. Yes he does clean the kitchen, cleans the ferret cage, washes clothes (but leaves mine hanging in the living room or my bathroom for me to put up). Runs the vacuum NOT as often as it needs and NOT in every room. He does pick up/delivers dogs that I am pet sitting. (of course this comes with complaining) This house is a wreck. He blames it on the dogs saying that we can't have a nice house because of the dogs. Yes we can...it just takes more work than a two dog house.

Some people are probably saying well you the woman this IS your job. Well....I work 2 jobs and he is retired. So what does he do you ask... in addition to the things above..well....He watches TV 24hrs a day. Occasionally he will take his motorcycle out but majoity he will watch TV.

I think that if the shoe was on the other foot and I stayed home and he worked. He would expect ME to have dinner done, laundry done, all the cleaning -dusting, vacuuming, moping, bathrooms, ferret cage, scooping poo, clean sheets on the bed and bills paid by the time he got home. So why don't I get this. I have asked for help.

I am just tired and fed up. As soon as I get up and clean on my only day off he just continues to watch tv or goes outside or gets on the computer. Not once does he lend me a hand to help out. He just makes smart ass remarks like --aww nothing like seeing the little woman in the kitchen..or seeing the little woman cleaning...

ARRUUGHHH!!!!

2nd fill since surgery

2009-07-06T23:10:00.003-05:00

Had my Dr. appt with my surgeon today to check in. I am down 25lbs since my surgery!!!! Yeah me. I am so ready for this weight to be off. He asked me if I wanted to just stay at 3ccs and recheck in a month and I told him no that I felt that I could handle more. He said that he would give me just 1cc for now. He said that most people do fine at 5-6cc and I am at 4cc. The band itself holds up to 10cc of fluid. I think 4cc will be it for me. In my mind I was wanting him to fill it all the way up...LOL this weight can't come off fast enough. I just have to be patient and make sure I won't have problems. I don't really feel like I have lost any weight but a few people have told me that they can tell a difference.

Yeah me!!! On my way to getting my life back!!!

21lbs down

2009-07-03T21:42:00.003-05:00

I am home from pet/house sitting. I enjoyed staying at this house because it has a pool. I love the water especially the beach. Can't wait to lose my weight so I can feel okay being in a swim suit.

I started my workout this past week so I was able to swim everyday, sometimes twice. I even got some sun. I can't believe how white I am (yuck).

I lost 3 more lbs this week!!! YEAH ME!! Total so far is 21lbs. I was really hoping for more so far. Monday I go back to the Dr. to weigh in and another fill. I am going to tell him I would like to see more weight loss each week. This is crazy 20lbs in 2 months, I think I can handle losing more.

Thursday I went to Arthur Murray's dance outing at Midnight Rodeo. I invited my friend Karen to go with me. I had a great time! But Note to self: DO NOT DRINK!! I only had MAYBE 2-4 straws full of a long island ice tea followed by two bottles water and I sure felt it. Maybe I should keep it at 1.5 straws full. LOL I felt okay when I woke up just a little tired but mid afternoon I was feeling really out of it. Not to mention I didn't eat much for dinner and I didn't eat breakfast and for lunch I had 1 little rib. Which I think had a lot to do with me feeling like crap. I still haven't eaten dinner yet but not really that hunger...yet.

So I have the house to myself this weekend. My hubby went to Houston to see his son. So...what do I have planned to do this weekend? Not sure yet. Maybe do some JULY cleaning or not.

UPDATE

2009-06-17T20:21:00.003-05:00

It has been a month and 10 days since my surgery. I am down 16 lbs so far. Its has been going very well. I had my first fill on Monday (15th). I sat in the room waiting for the Dr. to come in. I was trying not to focus on the large needle sitting on the counter waiting to be stuck into my stomach. That needle reaches the port that fills the band that controls my eating. My eyes shifted to the bottle which sat next to it with another needle. That bottle said lidocaine....Yeah!!! seeing that made me feel a little better. The Dr. walks in and asked me if I thought I needed a fill (not feel...lol) I told him yes!! I had noticed that the last week I had been eating more than I should (still less than I use to). He told me that was normal. He cleans my stomach and has me do a stomach crunch as he pushes on my stomach to find the port. He then marks it with a pen. He gets the needle and draws up the lidocaine and jabs it into my stomach. Once it was numb he proceeds to get the larger needle to fill my band. He had a hard time hitting the port and had to stick me a few times. Finally he gets it and inserts 3 cc of fluid into my band. He has me sit up and sip water to see if I noticed any restriction while the needle is still in my stomach!! I lay back and he then takes out the large needle. It was done. yes! WOW that was it.

SURGERY IS DONE!!!!

2009-05-12T15:46:00.003-05:00

Thanks to everyone for checking up on me!!!

Here how things have been going since the day of surgery.

Day of surgery and first day after surgery: I had my lap band surgery done on May 7th at 1pm. I stayed over night since the surgery was done so late. I am glad I did since I was really hurting. Pain meds are GOOODD!!! By the next morning the Dr. came in and said that everything looked good and that I was good to go. I went home and crawled into bed and all I could have was clear liquids for the next few days. My mom and I walked down the street.

Day 2: I was doing creamy soups and my mom and I walked down the block a little further this time

Day 3: Mothers Day: Was the first day that I got out and drove. My mom and I went to a couple of stores and then I got really tired so we headed home. Of course then we realized that we forgot a couple of items so we sent my husband out to pick them up. With in a few mins of him being gone he called me..."I've been in an accident" are you okay I asked "I'm not sure yet"..I told him I was on my way. As my mom and I were heading for the door I thought..OH MY GOD!!! I hope he was in HIS truck and not mine. LOL yes I know I'm bad. He did take his truck. Once we pulled up on the accident I noticed he was still in his truck with the steering wheel looking like a marsh mellow (air bag came out). There was three vehicles involved in the accident. Someone pulled out in front of him and my husband plowed right into the side of his truck and pushed that truck into a woman who was at a stop sign. Thank God everyone was okay. Once the tow truck came and took my husband truck away we piled into my car and head back to the house. By now I am really stress and getting very sore. So right before bed time I took the "good" pain meds. Then the next thing I hear is all the dogs going crazy. I heard my husband yell.."there's a bird in the house!!" So I come out of the bedroom and get all the dogs locked into the room so that they didn't kill the little bird. Then we proceeded to get brooms to help the little bird find his way out. After thirty mins...my husband was smacking the little bird...of course I yelled at him. Finally the little bird made his way out of the house...Now I am really hurting.

Day 4: The next day I asked my mom why she didn't come out of her room and she just thought my husband and I were fighting again. LOL so she decided to stay out of it. ..lol I was up for about an hour and I had to go to bed. I felt exhausted and didn't feel well at all. I think I over did it the day before. So I stayed in bed for most of the day.

Day 5: AMAZING!!! I feel 100% better today!!! We drove into Austin today to take my husband to a couple of Dr. appts. On the way in, I get pulled over. GREAT!!! ARRUUGGHH!! The cop said that he pulled me over because I was going 78 in a 65. I looked at him and I said "What? NO, I don't believe that I was" he asked ask for the reg and my TDL and asked where we were coming from and my husband is telling him what we were doing. I turned around and told him that he is not interested in all that. I told him we were coming from Lockhart and going to Austin and he asked what time the Dr. appts were and my husband said 10:20am and the cop said.." perhaps that's why you are in such a hurry. I said "NO" I left in my house in plenty of time and I know that I wasn't speeding because I know you guys!!! (Mustang Ridge cops are really big on speeders...I know from past experience). He kept looking at my mom and my husband. SHOCKING he said okay I won't hold you up any longer just be careful. I was fuming but I thanked him anyway. I know for a fact I wasn't speeding and I wasn't going to admit to it. (perhaps that's why your in such a hurry!!!!----> in my sarcastic voice)

So off we went to drop my husband off for his appt and my mom and I went to have mani's and pedi's done. We pick hubby up from his appt then drove to my job to get my pay check and to visit everyone at work. He then had another appt down town so we dropped him off to that one and I took her to the new dance studio (Arthur Murray) . Saw my friend and his mom. She was telling me that sometimes your emotions can be on edge after surgery.

On our way home my mom, husband and I were talking about that cop who pulled me over. How I was just ticked off that he pulled me over. We all started laughing and they were telling me how shocked they were when I started ARGUING with the cop about me speeding. I was wondering why they both got so quite in the car as I was telling the cop NO I wasn't speeding. No wonder the cop was looking back and forth at them, he was looking at their expressions. They both KNEW I was going to get that ticket or show up on that show called "Speeders" LOL---guess my emotions were on edge...LOL

Just for the record, I have NEVER argued with a cop EVER. If I was speeding then I was speeding.

I hope the rest of my recovery goes well. I go back to work on Monday the 18th. (the day my husband has hand surgery) I hope his recovery goes better than mine did.

6 more days

2009-05-01T20:32:00.002-05:00

I am counting the days until my life changing surgery. I have been on a low-carb diet for the last 8 days and I have had no problem until today. I was craving carbs. carbs carbs carbs!!! If I didn't have my goal I would have prob. put myself into a carb coma.

I was feeling a little down once I got out of work today. I am not sure why. (maybe it was a lack of carbs...lol) I hate when I feel this way. So I am glad that that my favorite movie of all times is on. THE NOTEBOOK- I'm ready for a good cry. Going now to watch my movie...

9 more days

2009-04-28T22:49:00.004-05:00

I have 9 more days until my surgery!!!! I am doing a low carb diet to help shrink my liver. I have started getting all my liquids for after the surgery. Broths, Ensure, popsicle's, jello....anything clear. At least for 1-2 weeks that is what I will be eating..or drinking. I still need to get my vitamins that the Dr. recommended. My mom will be coming to stay with me during my healing process. I have a few more things I need to get done before she gets here.

I think I am more excited now than nervous. I am ready for this and I am ready to see what my life has in store for me.

One More Step Closer to a NEW life, NEW me

2009-04-07T21:35:00.007-05:00

I haven't told but only a handful of people...I am having the lap band procedure done. I was waiting to get the insurance to approve me for this surgery before I said anything.
THEY APPROVED ME ON APRIL 1ST!!!!!! (and no it wasn't an april fools joke)

Two years ago I had thought about doing it and I talked myself out of it. I told myself that I could do it myself. So after 6 months to a year I decided to do it again. I jumped through all the hoops for the insurance to approve me and the last thing I needed to do was a supervised diet with a Dr for 6 months. I was losing the weight and feeling GREAT!!!! So I decided NOT to do the surgery. I told myself that IF I gained the weight back that I would then consider the Lap Band surgery. So after being on the diet for about a year I lost 60 lbs. But then I got tired of the packaged food so I got off the program and started with a nutritionist and another personal trainer. Slowly the weight started coming back. Nothing I did was keeping it off. I joined a workout team for 3 months and I still kept gaining the weight. My self esteem that I built up started falling again. I felt worse about myself than I did before I lost the 60lbs.

I have stopped doing everything that I enjoyed. I can't find the energy, the strength, or the motivation to dance, to ride my horse or even exercise. So I have made the decision to have this surgery. I want my life back. I don't want the weight restrictions keeping me from doing the things I love. I am physically and mentally tired of dealing with this.

I know that this is a tool to help with weight loss and I know that I still have to watch what I eat and I have to exercise. I know I can lose the weight I just need help.
I am so excited !!!

<----(This is me on the inside) Well, today I went to the hospital to get blood work, EKG and Echo cardiogram done. I haven't scheduled my surgery yet but as soon as they have the results I will be able to start my two week diet to shrink my liver before they operate. I will take a week off from work and will be on liquids for 4 weeks or longer. I have been a little scared about the surgery too. I am sure it is normal. I have been watching Discovery Health on and I had to stop watching it. I was making me stress about dying. LOL I know that is a risk but it is a risk I have decided to take on.
So I made arrangements for someone to take my horse Shiloh if anything happens to me and I have made arrangements for my two sweet ferrets. I have one dog that I would need a GOOD home for. (Maya) She is my problem child (sweet and loving) so she would need to go to someone who could spend a lot of time with her. My husband will keep the others. Well, I think I wrote a book tonight so I will stop writing.

GREAT DAY!!

2009-04-05T21:56:00.002-05:00

I went to the barn today and we took the horses out on a trail ride at Mckinney Roughs. That was my second time to go with Shiloh. He did so good today. He had a lot of energy and I had a hard time for the first hour keeping him at a walk. All the horses that went were all females he was the only boy. I think he was just showing off for the girls. LOL We left about 10am and got home about 5pm. It was a great ride.

I took a dance lesson on Friday and had a great time. I sure missed it.

Weird Day/Feeling

2009-03-31T23:13:00.002-05:00

Well, I didn't meet my friend after all...We are going to meet on Friday so we can talk freely without her son.

Today was really weird. I left for work and I felt good and was in a great mood. By the time I got to work my chest started feeling tight and I couldn't seem to get enough air. I wasn't panicking but just having to take deep breaths and I got sick to my stomach. I don't know what that was all about. Once at work, whenever I had to talk to clients, it seemed to take everything out of me to be nice to them. Lately I have been feeling like this. I just want to be an ass. I don't want to be nice.... but I just can't be an ass...its not in my nature.

(sigh)...well, maybe tomorrow will be better.

It's Monday....

2009-03-30T20:57:00.004-05:00

I tossed and turned all night last night. I really hate nights like that. My mind was all over the place and I couldn't make myself fall asleep. Work was slow, very slow..made for a long day. After I got off of work I drove home to just relax some, then after 30mins I was on the road again. I went to the barn where I keep my horse Shiloh and I worked with a couple of horses in the round pen. I think I made some progress with one....I am hoping to go back out there on Wed. I really had a good time being around the horses during the week.

I also made myself go and pick up my bike and Kareens bike from storage. I really need to get back into riding my bike. Kareen needed hers since she is training for the tri- athlon this year. I wish I had the energy to do the training. Maybe next year.

Tomorrow I will go meet with my friend Karen and have dinner and maybe drinks. I have already scheduled my dance lesson for Friday. So this week is all planed out so far...on my way out of this funk yet!!!!

Okay...Where did I leave off......

2009-03-29T20:46:00.002-05:00

Oh, I left off talking about doing my list like my cousin made.....Well, let's just say that didn't happen. I will put that on my other list...to make a list of a list. hmmmm.

Let's see, what has happen since that last blog. Well...not much. Really not much. Pet sitting is down so I haven't really been busy with that. Self-esteem is down, so is my dance, exercise and horse back riding....hmmm did I leave anything off.

I took a week off from work for spring break to spend it with my niece, Amanda. I enrolled her into horse camp for a whole week. It was really fun. I meant to blog about it everyday but by the time we got home and showered and ate we were both "dead".... The first day was kind of funny. My niece was complaining that she was getting dirty. I said "look just accept the fact that this week you are going to get dirty EVERY DAY!!! so just get dirty and look forward to a nice WARM shower at the end of the day." After that we both didn't care how dirty we got. Once home I told her to go take her shower and we would eat after that. I few minutes later I hear her yell for me and she told me that the water was COLD...I told her to turn on the hot water...she said that she did. Yes, you guess it!!!! The WATER HEATER WENT OUT!!!!! She was wrapped in a towel shivering and told me that she couldn't take a shower. I told her to suck it up and take one because she was NOT going to bed dirty.

After she was done I went to take a shower. ARRUUUGGHH!!! it was ICE COLD. FREEZING water!!! I told myself to SUCK it up because she had to. It was awful.... By the second day we had a brand new water heater. Awwwhhh...nice hot shower waiting for us.

I took a dance lesson on Sat for the first time in months. I really really missed it. I have to get back into it. Its hard when my pet sitting has been down. My play money is not there. I actually scheduled a second lesson for Friday. Can't wait.

I have made the choice to start going to the barn after work on Monday's and taking dancing lessons again and trying to go twice a week for group classes. I have to get back into doing things. I think that is the only way I will ever get out of this funk. This "funk" has lasted way more than expected. I am also going to start blogging again. SHOCKED I know!!...so stay tuned....no...really.

My Weekend

2009-02-01T22:05:00.004-06:00

I was reading my cousin Emily's blog the other day and she had made an entry called "The List". It is a list of 101 things she is going to do in 2009. It made me start thinking about the things that I want to accomplish this next year. So I am going to try and make a list but I'm not sure how long it is going to be or how long its going to make me to make. As soon as I have it I will post... be prepared that I will tag a few people.

I went out last night with Kareen. I has been a long time since we had really been out together. We decided to go to Johnny Carrino's for dinner which was really good. Then we headed off to Pete's Piano Bar. I like this place because this is a place where people OUR age hang out. We were both laughing because there was this guy that was sitting in the row in front of us. Everyone around him, his friends and girlfriend(?), were all laughing and singing along. He just sits there looking straight ahead. No laughing, smiling, or tapping of the foot, hand or not even a head bob. Finally, he decided to get a drink and then after two drinks he started a very slight head bob. Wow...how can you go into a place where everyone is laughing and having a good time and not even smile. Just even to laugh at all the GUYS singing along to Summer Nights-Grease. It is amazing how the guys all new the words to it. LOL

So anyway after that group left another group came in and guess what? They had a dud in their group too. Kareen and I just laughed. I guess every group has to have one.

Kareen and I were determined to stay out past 10pm. The last time we went out we headed home by 9:30pm...Man we are old. So we made it all the way to 2am. I got home by 3am and slept until 11am. Was up for about 2 hours and back to bed. How sad that I slept this beautiful day away. This is why I don't stay out that late. HA HA

Well, I decided that I am going to the gym for at least 30 mins tomorrow. That's my goal for tomorrow.

Sat night with a couple of friends

2009-01-26T17:57:00.004-06:00

I went to dinner with a friend of mine on Sat. Her son came with us since he was home for the weekend and we had a really good time. Her son decided that we would go bowling...prob. because he know he was good and could kick our butt..(okay my butt). He had such good form it was unbelievable. From the moment he picked up the ball and positioned himself up on the floor, taking his sweet time aiming and lining up his shots, I knew I was in trouble. He had this very cute leg kick when he rolled the ball down the lane. It seemed to work for him. Not once getting a gutter ball as I did multiple times. Over and over he would knock the pins down. I can't believe this kid kicked my butt. Well he did have more experience in bowling than I did. He beat me by 49 points the first game and 55 points count on the second game.

Okay...real story....It was Kareen and her son Cole. We did have dinner and we did go bowling. He did have great form for a kid of 7 years with the cute leg kick. He really didn't get a gutter ball...since he had the bumpers up. I did manage to beat him by 4 points the first game scoring 49 points and he beat me scoring 55 points the second game. Oh well...I tried to play it up.....I had fun anyway.

Life with pets

2008-11-19T22:06:00.004-06:00

People who own pets never have a dull life....

Maya, as everyone knows has her dog aggression issues, not only does she have aggression issues she LOVES water.

The other day my husband went outside to watch the dogs and he noticed that our neighbor who has always wanted a dog finally got one...so he thought. He watched the dog running back and forth on the other side of our fence and he thought that the dog acted kind of crazy like our dog Maya. He went to look in the other part of the back yard were Maya stays and she was gone!!! He then realized the "neighbor's dog" was really OUR dog. Maya had broken the fence and wormed her way from our beautiful- manicured- low maintenance -dirt only yard, into our neighbors nicely manicured yard. When he pulled her back to our side he noticed that she was wet and covered in MUD...OH GOD!! what did she destroy in that back yard.....How much are we going to have to pay to replace everything. Of course our neighbor wasn't home so he had to wait to see what she got into. (fearing the worse $$$). Well we found out that our neighbor had a fish pond and a few buckets of water. In which Maya felt was all hers to play in. Maya did some gardening after a few laps in her fish pond a few plants were removed and replaced in different places. Neighbor said that there was no harm done...thank God.

( None of the fish were harmed in the swimming of the pond...that we know of)----

Linen and Things is going out of business. So we went to see what we could get. We have put off getting towels since they are so expensive. So we decided to buy some towels and we also decided to get a few sets of sheets and bed spreads. We have talked multiple times of making the dogs sleep on the floor instead of the bed. Well I didn't want to start doing that during the week when I have to get up and go to work.

So we decided to wash the new sheets and bedspread and put them on the bed anyway. It never fails that when ever we put clean sheets on the bed someone (dog)gets sick and vomits, or releases anal glands. I just don't understand what they don't like about the clean sheets.

So I was thinking positive when I got into our nicely clean bed. By morning, I woke up and I smelled something musky and fishy. Yes you guessed it....ANAL GLANDS!!! on our clean freaking sheets!!!! arruughhhh. Never fails....never... So I took the sheets of the bed and had my husband wash them again. We would try to have clean sheets again that night.

So that night we went to bed and threatened everyone not to dirty up the sheets. All is going well until early that next morning about 4am...30 mins before I had to get up for work. I never have seen two people just up out of bed when hearing the sound of a heaving dog. We both sat up and through the covers back, trying to focus on who was getting sick. Of course everyone just layed there looking at us like we were crazy.

This is what my life consist of on a daily basis. I love all my dogs and would never get rid of them. WHO NEEDS TV when you have pets...

Lots to say but I don't

2008-11-15T10:06:00.002-06:00

I haven't really wanted to blog much lately but its not that I haven't really had much to say because I have.... I just have been to emotional and just didn't want to depress anyone who reads my blogs. (which has been no one since its been so long between blogs).

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still alive and kicking and I am trying to get out of my funk. Yesterday was the best day I have had in a few weeks (month). Maybe its because I started using my sleep machine again. I have sleep apnea and the four little hours of sleep I get a night usually is not good sleep. I think it started catching up on me so I started using my machine. Now that I am getting better sleep maybe that will give me the focus I need to get out of my funk.

I am very thankful for my pets. They keep me from thinking stupid thoughts. I really wish I had more time to enjoy them. I wish I could be with them all the time. There has got to be something I could do to make that happen. If someone has a $100,000.00 laying around and really don't know what to do with it....SEND IT MY WAY....just a suggestion. HA HA

Well, I need to get off this computer and do something productive.... not sure what yet.

The dreaded "C" word

2008-10-01T22:39:00.002-05:00

Well, my uncle went into the hospital on Sat and they had to do a blood transfusion. They did test starting on Monday to figure out why and where he was bleeding from.

My mom called me and told me the news today. My uncle has colon cancer (very large mass) and its in his liver and all over. He is in stage 4....chemo and radiation treatments are in order. He is wanting to go home and get things together before he starts his chemo.

sigh....not sure what to say...I think I am still processing this. (and so is he) I haven't called him since I found out. I just want to give him sometime to process and get things together before I call him. I just want him to know I love him even though he hasn't really been part of my life in over 4 years.

I remember spending time with him at his place in the country when I was 4years old. He had horses and I would spend so much time out there. We used to laugh a lot...I wonder what happened...I wonder why he pulled away from us (my family). I really need to sit down with him.

sigh-----

New Goal..

2008-09-28T19:20:00.004-05:00

Well I have decided to join Kareen and her mom in doing Team Fitness at Lifetime (our gym). It will be 3 months working out 3 times a week and meeting with a nutritionist every other week. Right now I am seeing a nutritionist every other week and using a personal trainer the alternating weeks.

I have done it twice before and I AM going to do it again. I AM going to LOSS 20lbs in 3 months....

Sit back and watch....lol

I haven't really talked much about what has been going on in my life (well my brothers life) lately but my brother has been going through a divorce since Christmas. He has been trying to get her to sign the kids over to him temporarily until the divorce. It has taken a lot but she finally did it last week. She brought them to him today with 10 trash bags full of their clothes (yes TRASH bags...what does that say??!!!!) plus one one-eyed dog. She didn't even tell the 3 kids that they were going to live with her father. Her plan was to drop them off and walk out of their lives. My brother and mother had to sit them all down and tell them that they were going to be living with him now. The oldest cried..... oh my God..that just breaks my heart. How could you do that to your kids without telling them a thing. She is planning to move to Las Vegas....we assume for another man, whom we suspect she has been seeing for awhile before my brother left his home back in Nov. 2007. They are to go to court in March for their divorce hearing and she says that she will fight for the kids then......we will see if she even shows up.

So much has happened but I am so glad that the kids are with a more stable and loving home.

The biggest concern is how do they help the kids cope with all that has happened? How do you tell the little ones why their mom left them without an explanation? How do you help the older one deal with the anger that she has for her dad. (anger came from her mother talking bad about my brother)....

I told my brother he needs to keep them in counseling to help them all.

My uncle has been in the hospital since yesterday. He had to have a blood transfusion. Today he is still not feeling well. They will be doing more test on him tomorrow.

It was the first time I had seen him since my grandmother passed 4 years ago. Every year I wait for him to come for Christmas at my moms house but there was always a reason why he couldn't make it. So I decided to make a point to see him when my friend passed away. I told my mom that I didn't want the next time I see him to be in a casket. I think he was shocked to see me...he hadn't seen me since I had lost all the weight. He looked sick when I saw him but he said that he was fine.

So tomorrow we will see what the test say. I am hoping for the best. My mom said that he looks scared. The doctors told him it might be the big "C" (cancer). I would be too if they told me that. Why do they say that to people before they have proof?

Playing "MOM"

2008-09-02T21:51:00.003-05:00

Well, my friend has put her trust in me to care for her son (8yrs old) for a couple of days. I have to play mom while she goes on a trip. I have to make sure he eats in the morning on Thursday and take him to school and pick him up..feed him...make sure he does his homework and gets a bath and is in bed at a reasonable hour for school on Friday. Then his dad comes to pick him up for the weekend. WHEW!!! I am tired already.

Really I think we are going to have a good time. He is a great kid and we get along really well. These next couple of days will let me know if I want kids or another dog. HA HA

Wish me luck!!!!

GOOD BYE...Rana Fisher

2008-08-17T17:54:00.005-05:00

Well, I will be saying good-bye to my childhood friend this next week.

Rana Fisher age 36

4/18/1972 - 8/10/2008

She passed away on 8/10/2008. Not sure what happened but she went peacefully in her sleep. We lost touch off and on through out the years and we just started talking a little this year on myspace and facebook. I sent her one last message on 8/9/2008 which she never got (she checked her email for the last time on 8/8/2008). I missed out on so much of her "grown- up" days and that really sucks. She blossomed into a beautiful woman with a career in modeling and acting.

Its still so hard to believe that she is gone. So much I wish we could have shared.

Armed with the IPHONE

2008-07-13T20:07:00.004-05:00

Silly me joined many of the crazy people and stood in line for the new IPHONE G3 16GB. Yes, I could have ordered it and waited until next Sat to get it. But instead I chose to wait in a 5hr line at the mall for it. WHAT???!!! you ask...Yes I know it was stupid and you are asking me...Didn't you have anything better to do with your time? Yes I did but...I just couldn't help myself.

So today I sat and entered all my phone numbers...and that is all I did...lol Lazy day didn't do a thing. Jerry made me coffee and breakfast (toast and jelly). Then for lunch he made me an egg sandwich with my egg beaters. Wow..first time for that. So as you can see I did NOTHING.

Well I said that as soon as I got pictures of me rock climbing I would post them....I hate my pictures especially these....(mostly butt shots) But I wanted everyone to know that I actually did it!!!

So what is my next adventure? Dana mentioned sky diving but I have no desire to jump out of perfectly great air plane. Sorry Dana, but I will go with you and be your support. Who knows...I just might do it...NOT!!!..HA HA

I am going to go camping at the Enchanted Rock in a couple of months. That will be fun. I haven't camped since I was a little girl on the beach.

Its not just a THIN sport

2008-06-29T21:54:00.006-05:00

"Yeah it would be to hard for you. Rock climbing IS a THIN sport you know!!!"---my husband said to me.

So I tried it today to prove to him and myself that I can do it. Rock Climbing is NOT just a thin sport. My friend Karen and Dom (my dance instructor) and myself went to her ex's business called Boulders. There were so many things going through my head. Like: Who is going to be able to belay me? (since both of my friends weighed less than me) Is the harness going to fit me and how is it going to look when I am on the wall? Am I going to be able to make it up the wall?

Well, Boulders had anchors in the ground to help with people not weighing the same. Which really made me feel better. Not only that, they had auto belayers that you didn't have to have a partner. That was really nice. I made it to the top on two different walls. My friends ex husband gave me pointers and helped me get to the top of both of these walls. One of the walls he had me use my legs instead of my hands. He told me to just place my hand on the wall without holding on to the "holders" (not sure what they call them) and I made it to the top. Yeah me!!! I did one on my own before he helped me. Dominic took pics of me...I am sure they are not going to be great pics. He took them while he was on the ground and I was on the wall. My friends ex told him to go up to the balcony and he could get better pics from up above. Thank God!! That's all I need was more pics of my butt. Scary. Dom said that he was going to post them on the Internet. I threatened him with his life...LOL We all had a great time. I hope we can do it again soon.

I am so proud of myself. As soon as I get pics I will post them.

Its a done deal

2008-06-12T20:53:00.005-05:00

Well, Buggy is officially mine. His owner signed him over to me and paid for his eye surgery. I am hoping to get his eye done soon. It is really hard for me to get this done and I am not sure why. I know his eye is bothering him because he rubs it all the time. His mom would like to see him before his surgery. She doesn't know if she can see him after his eye is taken out.

I am heading off to Houston tomorrow. I can't wait to see the kids. (my brothers kids) They are having such a hard time. They don't want to go back to their mothers/ grandmothers trailer. Its so hard to hear them ask if they can stay with their daddy.

Well, I don't have much more to say.....

2008-05-31T22:07:00.002-05:00

On Thursday I went to pick up my new car. Murano 2009. It is Merlot with black leather interior. AAAhhhh nothing like the smell of a new car. I love the option of the blue tooth so I can talk "hands free". One of the best options (safe). I am on the road a lot and most of the time I am on the phone. So I am glad that I have the blue tooth for safety. Yes I know I could have bought the hands free kit for a small price and that I didn't have to get into debt with a new car just for that. Well, I am tired of having to explain why I do the things I do. I am just going to enjoy my new car.

I am going to go see Shiloh tomorrow. I will not be taking the new car out to the barn. LOL (at least not for now) I am going to keep it smelling like new for as long as I can.

Ooops I did it AGAIN!!!!

2008-04-15T22:09:00.003-05:00

His name is Bugsy Gizzmo.

His owners called me to see if I would pet sit him for just TWO weeks until they sold there house. They said the only problem is that....... he bites.

Well...if you know me..."Im not scared"..ha ha

So when Bugsy showed up at our house I noticed his eye. Jerry asked the owners when he picked him up if they had meds for his eye. The owners said yes, but they don't do them because he bites. Well, I just didn't feel right having Bugy (which is what I am calling him now) in my house without doing something for his eye. So the next day I called the owner and told her that his eye really didn't look good and I thought she should take him to a vet. So she decided to meet me at the animal hospital I work at. This was the first time I had ever met his owners. I can see why he bites. I wont go into how she acted but anyway we got the meds for his eye and I told her that while he is with me I would get him use to getting meds. Yes, he did try and bite us a couple of times but we just told him no. That's all it took. Now he sits for his meds without any problems.

After two weeks he had a recheck on his eye and I noticed that he started drinking a lot of water and urinating all over our house. So I called the owner and told her that I needed to take him in for a recheck and that I would like to check his urine too. She was fine with that and has paid for everything. Not only did we find out that his eye is not any better and needs to be removed we also found out that he is diabetic which means that the owners are now going to have to give him shots twice a day. Once I told the owner this she decided in the long run that she couldn't do the injections so I needed to help her find a new home for him. She still wants to pay for the surgery to remove his eye and she is still paying me to pet sit him.

It is now going on 46 days (1 month 2 weeks and two days) since I started taking care of Bugy. He is doing GREAT!! I gave him a treat the other day and he actually played with it. Tossing it up in the air and doing the butt in the air thing. Almost made me cry to know that he is feeling this good. He is like a new puppy. He gets along with all our dogs and he has his own little bed next to ours and I just bought him a new one today...(at least this one is not sleeping in the bed with us). He follows me around the house like my little shadow and when I pet him he rolls over on his back and wants a belly rub. Something he didn't do the first 31/2 weeks we had him.

The owner did tell me that she didn't really spend time with him much. She was gone from the house from 7am- 7pm and once she was home it was all about her baby.

Well, Bugy needs attention at this time in his life so I think he would be happy here.

It really isn't official about the adoption of this little man but I do think and feel that he will live out the rest of his life with us and finally happy.

yes ...i know....that makes eight (8) dogs. My heart has so much love to give, I can't help it. Look at his little eyes how could you not fall in love with him.

VEGAS BABY

2008-04-13T19:39:00.025-05:00

<----This is the group of people that I went with. Great group! There are two other people missing from the pic.

Well, I know I haven't blogged in some time now. So I am sure everyone has stopped checking my blog out by now. I finally decided to write

about our trip.We left on Wed the 26th early morning so that we could get to the

airport. As I was checking my bags in the lady behind the counter said to me. " Where do I know you from?" I said that I wasn't sure. She said "Oh, you did the Danskin

this past year didn't you?" I said yes...she asked me if I was going to do it again this year. I said sadly "no, i don't have the time".

She said was doing it.I didn't have the time back then either so why don't I have the time now? I could make time like I did last time but I think I just choose not to.

The flight to Vegas was nice and smooth. Once we got there and we walked into the Luxor I was really shocked that it was NOT like I remembered it. It was very smoky in there and you couldn't breath. I think I am so use to Austin having smoke free buildings so I was expecting it. So many people. We got to our room and sat down for a sec then we went down to eat lunch before we took our nap.

We were going to Mystere at 9:00pm that night so we wanted to be well rested for

it.The line for the show was very long...very long. This girl in red hair walked up to us and you could tell she was drunk and high on something. She started talking to Donna

and I and she was a little pissed off that she had to wait in such a long line. (she was young). My friend Donna started talking to her and found out that she was from Austin. Of all places...

she told us that she was here with her God Son and it was his 21st birthday and that they got into a fight and she didn't know where he was. She was mad because she paid for the whole trip. She also said a few things that I can't repeat here so when we were able to go in and take our seats I was happy to get away from her. The seats were GREAT. My friend Leeanne bought me two tickets to this show and knew which seats

to get. Then the next thing we knew this guy that was sitting right behind me was talking to us and started talking to us...he too was drunk and high on something. He started telling us that he was here with his "ATM" and said that they had gotten into fight. Donna and I looked at each other and she said..does she have red hair. He said YEAH have you seen her? I turned and pointed her out hoping he

would go sit next to her. But he didn't...he did ask me if he could have some of my water...WHAT!!! oh my GOD the nerve of some people. He

said that he would just pour it into his mouth. My friend told him to go buy his own...
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT HAPPENING????!!!

The show was amazing. The strength that those guys have is unbelievable.

After that first day we really didn't get to go to

any other shows. The next day we did get a chance to walk down to the Bellagio hotel.That hotel was beautiful. The lobby and the flower garden was breath taking.

<---The water

fountain outside of the Bellagio was great. It was timed

to music. I could have sat there all day watching it.

We got up everyday about 7am and were up until 12 or 1am. There was only one night

where I drank a little to much and I only gambled $1.00. Of course took me less than 3 seconds to lose. I am not a real big gambler. Oh well ..you win some and you lose

some.

I really enjoyed all the dancing that whole week.

There were these three children all from the same family. The parents own a dance studio and the father is an instructor. The kids were really good. The youngest was 4yrs old and the two oldest were about 8 and 10 yrs old. Boy could they dance.

Here are a couple of pics in the lobby of the Luxor Hotel on our last day.

All and all the trip was great and fun was had by all.

The Other Side

2008-03-22T22:27:00.002-05:00

Well today i went shopping with a friend of mine (from the dance studio). We are both trying to get everything ready for our dance trip to Las Vegas. (We leave Wed morning.) I hate shopping for clothes, I really hate it. But she told me we would go to Stein Mart and look to see what they had there. I found a cool brown dress and bought two pair of shoes and a wrap (for the dress) and a top. Then we went to Nordstroms which is her favorite place to shop. I know why now.... I am so use to shopping at Target and Wal Mart and Lane Bryant for my clothes just because that was the only place I could find my size.

It was such a neat experience to walk into Nordstroms and you can just feel the quality in that store. She wanted to buy some shoes for this outfit she had and so we went to the shoe department and right away a woman walks up to us and ask if we needed help. My friend had brought her outfit and told the lady what she was looking for. The woman said okay, just sit right here and I will be back with something. The next thing you know here she comes back with not just one pair of shoes but 8 pairs of shoes for her to try on. She not only brought us the shoes but sat down on the floor and unpacked the shoes one by one so she could see what she had brought. Once we were done she packed them all up and the checked us out. I just couldn't believe it..I just looked around like this had to be a joke. I was thinking to myself "So this is how the other side lives.....NICE!!"

If I would have gone to wal mart or target I would have had to shift through all the shoes which are on the floor and no one around to help you out or give you their opinion. Any way my FIRST big purchase from Nordstrom was two pair of shoes and some make up from Lancome. Wow, what a wonder feeling to walk into a place with such quality and get treated like that. I can see why people like to shop there even though its so expensive. (for someone who shops at Wal mart and Target.) I think I will go back... after I save up more money....LOL

Geriatric Pets

2008-03-09T15:42:00.002-05:00

I think my pet sitting has turned into geriatric pet sitting. In the last week I have gotten 4 new clients and 3 of them are geriatric dogs and they are all on meds. I have one old dog staying with me who is a regular visitor. So right now I have 4 old dogs all needing meds two to three times a day. I really stress when I am taking care of the older pets. I don't know what I would do if something happened to one of them while they are in my care. Its amazing how attached I get to these little guys.

So when the walls...come tumbling down....

2008-02-11T21:24:00.004-06:00

My dance instructor showed me this video and I died laughing. Check it out when you can. Achmed Dead Terrorist

2/17/2008
Today was a beautiful day and I wish I would have gotten out in it. By Sunday I am usually so exhausted from the week all I want to do is sleep and/or watch tv.

Just when I start to let my wall down some with him, he does something to put it back up.

Today he came into to drop off a dog for me and we met up to do that. We get over to the owners house and they were not there so he decided to walk around their house. I talked to the owners and they were 2 mins from the house. So when he came back around he was going to walk off again and I told him to stay in front so that when they got home we could just leave and that we wouldn't have to wait for him. He got pissy and started to pout and went and sat in the truck like a baby.

Then we went to Home Depot no problem there until we left. I told him I wanted to go to this store and told him it was either in this shopping center or across the street. Its hard to discribe what happened but he started arguing with me about my directions. Then as we started to pull out of the parking lot a jerk made a illegal u-turn and we almost hit him. I told him to just let go but NO Instead of letting it go ...He chases them down and yells at them for doing that...all the guy could do is just apologize. By now I just want to go home and I tell him this but he ignores me and we go to the other store. We looked around then left.

Then....we went into the Dress Barn (clothing for women) and I got a shirt, earrings and a necklace. As we start to check out, the girl behind the counter had to run to let someone into the dressing room and I said that was fine. Jerry said something like so do you always walk off like that when you are checking someone out "that is really unprofessional" (I was thinking -->NO but it IS professional to be an ass ---> hear the sarcasm?) and the other lady behind the counter started to apologize and I just mouthed I was sorry and just to let it go. When the lady return she was really nice and apologized again for having to run off. Jerry just walked off towards the door.

These are more reasons that I don't want to go any where with him. He just doesn't know how to behave himself in public. (sounds like I have a very small child)

So now I am home after 4 days. was looking forward to being home until all the above happened. I missed my dogs so I guess in a way I am glad to be home.

For christmas he got me a very sweet card and I was really shocked that he still felt that way. Then for my birthday another sweet card and a beautiful ring. I was talking to Kareen the other day and I was telling her that I really needed to stop treating him like crap. So when I try...my wall goes back up.
Oh well...my choice...my life....just needed to vent.

2008-02-10T12:51:00.000-06:00

I have decided to go to maintance in my diet program. I have been struggling with the food and its been really hard to stay focused. So this way I can start merging in REAL food and start learning what to eat instead of trying to eat this box food. After almost a year of eating this food I just couldn't do it anymore. Now that I know that I am going to be eating real food the stress is now off.

This weekend I went to my friends house and watched a movie with some friends. It was fun and the movie was great.

I didn't do a darn thing today. It was such a beautiful day but I just couldn't get motivated to do anything. I hate it when I waste a beautiful day.

I bought some red shoes this week to go with my red dress that I bought a few months ago. I was so worried that the shoes were not going to match but they did. It was a PERFECT match. We have a Showcase here in Austin for the dance studio on March 1st so I think I will wear it for our formal dinner.

We were going to do a solo but I don't think its going to be ready in time. I really wasn't planning on doing it so I really didn't find the time to really work on it. So I think we well just do free styles. I am going to do the Hustle, triple time swing and we are doing a student formation (Cha-Cha).

More land for less $$, or less land for more $$

2008-02-03T09:22:00.000-06:00

Today I am going to go look at some land my uncle has for sale (10 acres). The only down fall is that it is closer to Seguin than Austin. He said that it was a straight shot to Austin and it wouldn't take long. Right now it takes me 45mins to get to work and I really wanted to cut down my commute to work. Everything that we have looked at closer into town is very pricey. So..do I want to just continue to drive 45mins and get more land for less money or get less land for more money and mover closer? I really want 10 acres because I have my horse and all my dogs. Plus, If I ever decide to get my pet sitting business started I will need more room. I have driven 45mins to get to work for the last 11yrs. I think the only thing that bothers me is that I just don't have time to get out to see my horse. So maybe if he was in my back yard I could just continue to drive the 45mins. Anyway, I guess we need to look at this place and see if it is really what I am looking for.

I hate it when I get this way.......

2008-02-01T20:21:00.000-06:00

I don't know what the hell was wrong with me today. Every time my mouth opened it seemed like I was shoving food into it. Even after I was stuffed I still managed to pack in the food. My friend Kareen even tried to help too, but there was no helping me today. I must stop this and now before I find myself 60lbs heavier. Maybe I should seek therapy... I hate when I get like this. Well, its 8:30pm and I think I am going to bed before I start eating again. I am going to get up early and go workout before work. (thanks Kareen for calling me and asking me to go). I haven't really worked out much either. I went to the gym on Thurs for about 30mins. Then today with my personal trainer for an hour. Maybe I can get back into working out everyday again.
Not much else to say but good night.

A "Journey" back in time

2008-01-20T10:22:00.000-06:00

Well, I am getting ready to go out to see my horse today. Its a beautiful day and I just can't sit in this house all day. I got up about 8:30am and got on the computer and started listening to my music and I remembered that I wanted to download some of my cds. I downloaded WhiteSnake and Journey (the best of).

I remember one day coming from Houston and a station was playing Journey songs and I found myself smiling...(sad I know)....But anyway...I am downloading three cds of Journey songs. I LOVE IT!!!! Takes me way back.

Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'
Wheel in the sky
Faithfully
Send her my Love
awww...Open Arms
Whos Crying Now....Oh my God Love that song
Dont stop believin

OH my and the list goes on...LOL

What are you Journey Favs?
I should go before I get into Barry Manilow....(yes I do have a CD and LOVE IT TOO)...LOL

Nothing REALLY going on

2008-01-15T08:20:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to say that I am really frustrated with this blogger. Ever since I have switched to my new Mac. I can't use half the stuff on the tool bar plus some of the icons are misisng. (spell check is not working but I can insert pictures fine....these are the ONLY TWO icons on my tool bar.) I have tried to figured it out but just nothing is working. arrgguuhhh!!!!
So if there are missed spelled words...which I know there are....I'm sorry.

I have not really had much to say for the last few weeks. Well I do but I just do really want to write about it.

My brother is going through a divorce and its getting really ugly. She is using the kids and she is not letting him see them so its been really hard. So my thoughts are with him and the kids right now so I really don't have much to say.
I am so angry and sad about the whole thing. My poor neices and nephew. They are really suffering.

So, I got a speeding ticket in Luling on Sunday as I was on my way out to see Shiloh (my horse). Then I took the day off yesterday and spent sometime with Shiloh again. I had lunch with a friend of mine. Drove into Austin to check on some dogs. (Jerry took care of the dogs Monday morning for me so I could sleep in. I didn't even have to ask him.)

Other than that not much else is going on.

GOOD LUCK SADIE

2008-01-01T23:10:00.000-06:00

I have been waiting to hear from the people who wanted Sadie and they told me that they decided that they didn't want to get her. So I had this one woman who has been calling and has been intrested in Sadie. I was kind of not sure about her but the more I talked to her the more I think she would be a good home for Sadie. She is semi retired and works some at an oral surgery place. Anyway I called her and told her this morning that I would bring Sadie to her for a few days to see how it goes. She sounds really excited. So sat. I will take Sadie to her house. I want to see where Sadie will be. She said that I could come and see her anytime I want. Its going to be hard.

Well, I took Sadie to her potiental new owner. I felt really good about it. The woman is very nice and her town house is really cool. Sadie ran all over the house jumping all over the couch and upstairs. She even found the toy box. Her other dog wasn't sure how to take Sadie because hit the ground running. But by the time I left they were playing. I might even get to pet sit for her so that will be cool.
The lady called me later this evening to give me a "Sadie" update. I even got to talk to Sadie on the phone. LOL I know silly but oh well. Sometimes I hate it when I get so attached to these little creatures like I do.
I am getting better on letting them go though...I didn't even cry. ( I did that for the last few days and before I took her...LOL)
The lady also called the owner to let him know that Sadie is in a good place and that she loves her already. The owner wants to see Sadie one last time. The lady asked if he really wanted to and he said yes he thinks that his wife would have wanted him to. I think he will be fine. I just feel so bad about all this family has been going through. My heart just breaks for them when I think about it.
GOOD LUCK SADIE in your new home.

A NEW YEAR 2008

2008-01-01T16:23:00.000-06:00

Well, another year has come and gone. I brought the New Years in with the people from the dance studio. (Hubby stayed home) I had a better time this year with the people I was with. I have made a couple of new friends. I soooo cheated on my diet and I drank more than I should. I usually don't drink that much but I said what the heck. My mood changed slightly after midnight but it had a lot to do with the drinking. I felt alone and very sad it sucked. I woke up feeling the same way. How can you feel alone when you are surround by people and everyone is laughing and having a great time (including yourself).

So to try and get out of my funk of a mood I had planned on going to spend some time with my horse Shiloh. I miss him and I really wish I could spend more time with him. He really cheers me up. I felt better after I loved on him.

This year I am going to work on a few things:
1) Keep losing wt to reach my goal of 135-145lbs
2) Try to be more organized in my life (work and play...mostly work)
3) Try and get rid of all the clutter in my life at work, in my car and at home.
4) Work on things with my pet sitting
5) Save money to get 10 acres for my horse and puppies
6) Do more puzzles!!! ---I didn't realize how much I loved doing puzzles until I went home for Christmas. I got a chance to work on one with the kids. It really relaxes me. I plan on cleaning our guest room and setting it up so I can go in and work on puzzles. I know, I Know...some of you are saying when will you have time, or when will you ever be home to do these puzzles. I don't know but I will see how it goes.

I got a call from the guy who had the quad bypass and while he was recovering his wife passed away. He said that he needed to find his dog a new home. He will be traveling for work a lot and that it wasn't fair to keep Sadie in her kennel all that time. So I told him that I would keep her.....JUST JOKING!!! I told him that I would help him find her a good home.

So what goals for this year do you have set?

I am off to go pet sit.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

ITS GOING TO BE A GOOD ONE

Finally did it

2007-12-26T21:52:00.000-06:00

I went to my weight appt today.

I walked into the little room where they take your blood pressure and pulse and I took everything out of my pockets (to lighten the load) then walked to the scale across the hall and stood there looking at it. I took off my shoes and took a deep breath and said a small prayer and then stepped on.

OH MY GOD!!!!! 4 lbs lost!!! yeah me. Not only was it just 4 lbs but it was enough to push me over "that number" I have been struggling to get past. I am now at a total LOSS of 62lbs of DISGUSTING FAT as of today. I have been stuck on these last few lbs for 4-6 weeks now.

I was feeling really good about this past week even though I didn't excerise or "stay in the box". I just felt lighter. (if you can understand that)

Christmas Traditions

2007-12-25T21:01:00.000-06:00

I went to Houston for Christmas like I do every year. I went on the 22nd and came home today (Christmas Day). I was listening to the radio and they had people call in and talk about some of their Christmas Traditions. It was really neat to hear what everyone does.

So here are a couple of our Christmas traditions:

On Thanksgiving day, after everyone has eaten and has taken a rest from all the food, we put up the christmas tree and decorations.

Then on Christmas Eve at midnight we would all open presents. Then Christmas Day the kids wake up and open their presents from Santa. This year we did things a little different and we opened presents at 10pm and then let the kids play with their toys until midnight. I think this is going to be a change in our tradition.

So what are your Christmas Traditions? Which ones do you like or dislike?

Anyway, this year was really different but I don't want to get into everything about that. I did have a great time with my neices and nephews. This is the first time that my brothers kids had their picture taken with Santa where they all were smiling. Usually there is one that is pouting or crying. We worked on potty training the little one. I came up with the idea of every time she potties she gets money. That seems to be working so far. I even helped her learn to ride her new bike (with training wheels) of course she picks it up right after I left today. My mom and brother were left chasing after her.

I even worked on a puzzle with the two older ones. (Amanda and Matthew).

My cousin (who is more like my brother) finally decided he wanted us back in his life after 3 years and brought all his (6) kids over for Christmas (on the 23rd). (Seleska, Eric David, Adrianne, Kayla, Nick and Cassette.) It was a great feeling to have them all in the house at one time. We got a group picture and I hope it comes out. I will post as soon as I get the picture from my mom.
Well, its time to get ready for my very crazy life starting tomorrow.

Rough Couple of Days

2007-12-20T08:17:00.000-06:00

It all started Tuesday about 5pm at work. We had an irate client come in demanding xanax for her dog. She was refusing to leave the clinic until she got it. One of the other managers tried talking to her and when she couldn't get anywhere she told me about it. I tried my best to reason with her and it didn't work. She just sat down and again and was going to wait until the Dr. left. I won't go into it all but long story short. I told her if she didn't leave I was going to have to make arrangements to have her removed from the clinic. She finally left for the night.

Then next morning guess who called. Yes the irate client again. I had to go through the whole thing over that morning. I don't do will with stress and it really took everything out of me to deal with this client again this morning. I passed her to our Pratice Manager ...I was done with this client.

Then we had a long time client with her kitty (older cat) and she wanted me and a couple of other people in the room while she euth. her sweet old friend. It was very emotional to watch someone who loved this little being so much make the unselfish choice to let him go.

Once I was off from work I went to take a nap and the dogs at the house I am staying had diahrrea. So once I cleaned that up I decided to lay down for a quick nap. That is when I got a call from one of the girls at work. She told me that another client was coming in for a euth and wanted to know if I was in town and they wanted to know if I could be there at 5pm. So I was getting up and that is when Dana called and asked me if I knew this client and I said yes and she wanted to know if I knew where their dog was and I said yes...she is at my house. She said well they are looking for her because she is dead. I said WHO is dead? Dana said she is ....I said wait a min. Thats wrong...her husband went in for a quad by pass....Maybe it was him not her...Jerry just talked to her the other day. So Dana gave me the number to call the daughter in law. Well, I called and it was true she passed away from a heart attack. I was in shock and I asked how her husband was doing and they said that he was doing okay but he was still on alot of pain meds from his surgery. I just cried. I then talked to the son and he told me that the husband wanted to know if I could help them find a home for thier dog (who was at my house now). I said oh my this is going way to fast. I asked the son if there was a possible chance once he is home that mabye he would want her back once he is feeling better. If so I would keep her until then. The son said I don't know...maybe your right this is all going too fast. He told me to find someone who would take her on a temp to perm bases. I told him I would to that. I told him to please call me when they made arrangments and he said he would. I hung up the phone. I called Jerry to let him know what happened and he said wow....wow...how am I going to explain this to Sadie (the dog)...I just cried some more. So I got up to get ready for the euth.

Once there I got a call from one of my other clients and asked if everything was okay. I totally forgot to go to their house to give there cat fluids. OMG...I will be there in a few mins. I rushed over there and gave fluids to their kitty and rushed back to be there for the euth. Once that euth was done...I went back to the house I was sitting and guess what??? There was MORE DIAHRREA!! I cleaned that up and then packed my stuff and left to go check on my other dogs.

I walked in and I noticed that they (the dogs) decided to open Christmas early. They pulled down four stockings that were on the counter and ate all the chololate. I told them that their mother was going to kill them. I feed them and I put them outside to do their business. It sounded like one had diahrrea. I HATE diahrrea !!!..... I called the owners and had to tell them about them....she kind of laught and said that she was going to punish them.

I just wanted a large large drink....went dancing instead. Tomorrow will be better.

Christmas Party 2007

2007-12-09T22:28:00.000-06:00

This year we had our Christmas Party at a Country Club. It was really nice and it seemed like everyone had a great time. We did our usually secret santa and musical chairs. They also hid 3 $20. bills around the room and little pieces of paper with the number 20 on them. Who ever collected the most little pieces of paper won a gift. Jerry found 5 of them but we didn't find the most. I think he had fun looking for them. The night ended with lots of laughter and a few drunk people. Getting out of the Gated Country Club comuinty was a challange at night and after dark....okay and after a few drinks...(LOL)...I took these pictures from Jennifers blog....sorry Jennifer, I hope you don't mind.

Kareen and I were laughing because during the eating portion we could her Dr. Werner talking and we would only get bits and pieces of his conversation. Here is a couple of coments that we heard:

Straight from Dr. Werner:
"His legs are just incredible......"
"Is not just testosterone......"
"Its not just about being pregnant....."

too funny

This is a pic of all of our wonderful doctors:

This is Kareen....she loves me...can't you tell by her face?...lol

Last but not least the WONDERFUL MANAGEMENT TEAM....we all look great!!!

Today I went and saw my cousin that I haven't seen in a while. I sure missed him and his family which consists of 6 kids. It was really great to see him and his family. He looks good and happy. I told them that if they ever needed a night out I would come over to babysit. They both started laughing. I told them I would do it IF the kids were all in bed...LOL But really I hope I can do that for them. They never get away becaues of all of the kids. I will offer again soon just incase they thought I was joking.

Slowly getting rid of my demon and clothes

2007-12-01T23:03:00.000-06:00

My mom and dad came to visit for the weekend. I like having my mom here. Anyway our plan for this weekend was to just stay home and go through my closet and get rid of my "fat" clothes. I am far from being thin but I really needed to get rid of all the clothes in my closet that didn't fit me anymore. We were in my closet for about 2-3 hours going through every item and trying everything on. My mom brought 4 big trash bags from her home so that we could put the clothes in. I got rid of so many clothes that I didn't even get to wear for very long. Part of me was sad when I had to let some of my clothes go. I thought it would feel great to get rid of these but I guess I had some kind of attachment to them. Some of them still had tags on them.

After the deed was done and everything was packed up I started to really feel good about it all. I really can't believe that I had so many clothes in my closet that were to small for me at one time and now they are lose. It really is a great feeling.

Some people have told me to keep a pair of my fat jeans just to remember how much I have really lost. I really don't think I need to do that. I will have enough memories to where I don't need to keep anything to remind me. I never want to be in prison of my own mind and body every again. Once I am down to my goal weight I will do everything in my power to keep it off. Its time that I start living and enjoy being alive. I want to be able to walk into a room with my head held high and not held down looking for a dark corner to hide in.

Wow...60lbs gone and Just 60-70 more lbs to go. I am doing it and I am doing it WITHOUT the gastric bypass surgery.

Just a test

2007-12-01T16:14:00.000-06:00

Just a test.... I am trying to link this to my last post titled New Mac Computer

I got the code for a link from someone on the help forum.

Will write more later.

NEW MAC COMPUTER

2007-11-29T21:40:00.000-06:00

I took my computer in to the Geek Squad at Best Buy and they told me that i had a bad hard drive. So Jerry and I decided that we would just get a new computer. Thinking that we would just get a tower and that it should not cost much. Well, just like the microwave...you guessed it we ended up spending twice as much as we had really planned on. We decided on a Mac. I have played on one but decided a while back that it was too different. But we decided to make a change. I am just having a problem with finding all my music that I had asked them to transfer from my old hard drive. I guess I will call them in the morning and see where it is.

My parents are coming for a visit tomorrow morning. I hope the weather will be nice but I think it will be raining. Oh well...my mom really wanted to stay home and help me with getting rid of my "fat clothes". I can't wait.

Okay..I can't find where my "link" button on this page. Its missing....does anyone know where it went and how to get it back?

Home Again

2007-11-26T10:12:00.000-06:00

I am now home and my computer is working again (for now). Lets see...not much has really been going on. I went to Houston for Thanksgiving and came home that same day. I am glad that I didn't stay any longer than that because of all of the food. I did really good on my eating though. My mom made me steamed veggies and salad and made me a small turkey so I could take home.

I have been staying in town pet sitting and staying at my friends house watching her pets while she was out of town. She has wireless at her house but it requires a password and she doesn't know it. So I have be really loss without a computer for the past week.

I was able to fit into another size smaller in jeans (still tight but I can get in them). One pair of jeans was my Rocky Mountains. Which I have been told that I shouldn't wear them out in public since they are now out of style. I thought every ten years styles kind of repeat themselves...hmmm maybe its longer...LOL
Oh well...I don't care if they are out of style I am just so excited I can fit in them.

Getting Old is not a Disease

2007-11-15T18:36:00.000-06:00

I tried to blog yesterday off of my phone but something happened and it wouldn't let me post it. So I missed a day. Bummer. I was really trying to post everyday.

Today at work we had someone bring in their dog to be euthanized. It was a rottie. Very sweet face but can be aggressive at times. The owner stated that he had really bad hips and wasn't eating and started having diarrhea. The doctor stated that we should do some diagnostics first but the owner declined and he was just crying so the Dr really couldn't push the issue. You could tell the owner loved this dog he was crying the whole time he was in the office and he wanted rainbow bridge (ash return). The owner didn't want to stay for the procedure so he left.

Once the dog was in the treatment area he jumped up on the scale and was just as cute as he could be. He had no clue why he was there. He started to look at me with his little eyes and I had to turn and told him not to look at me. They are so trusting and I felt guilty looking into his eyes. We offered him a treat for and he ate it willingly. So the doctor recommended getting him a bowl of food to make the transition to the other side a happy one. I went and got him some food and I hand feed him one and then he sat down in front of me and looked a me with his sweet loving eyes. I couldn't take it I burst into tears and handed the food to someone else and I went to the back and cried.
Why did he have to look at me like that? My heart just broke. Its cases like these that I just can't take. Yes this dog had hip issues and some diarrhea, but he was still getting around and eating. I feel that they just gave up on him just because he was an old dog.
GETTING OLD IS NOT A DISEASE!!!!

Not much to say

2007-11-13T18:16:00.000-06:00

Well I am writing this from work. YES I am off the clock. I really don't have much to say. All my dogs and my cat are all up to date on their vaccs. Finally! I hope to write more later. This blogging everyday for a month is going to be a challenge. I am apologizing now because this is not the last of these types of blogs.

No Computer for a week......

2007-11-12T05:13:00.000-06:00

I am blogging early today since I am staying in town and will not have access to a computer to blog (except at work). So I will figure out a way to get it done. Today is wt in so wish me luck. I will post the results tomorrow.

Pamper Day

2007-11-11T18:16:00.000-06:00

I had a good day today. I met with my friend and went to workout at 10am this morning. After that we went to get our nails,toes and eyebrows waxed. It felt good to get pampered especially after a workout. All that was missing was the full body massage. Speaking of...DANA, we need to get ours done. ASAP!!!! We then went to eat a late lunch at La Madeline's on Brodie. Man did the desserts look good but we both decided against it. We didn't want to mess up our work out.

The other day my husband and I were driving home and we smelled a "country kitty" (aka SKUNK). I told him that this one smelled like puppy breath. He agreed with me. OH MY GOD!! See I am not the only one who thinks that "country kitty" smells like that. We must be really sick people. I told him not all "country kitties" smell like puppy breath and he stated that it could depend on how fresh it is. OH my.....the things we talk about.

I am off to watch my taped Dancing with the Stars. I am behind two weeks.

OUR NEW MICROWAVE IS ON ITS WAY

2007-11-10T21:09:00.000-06:00

I went to work this morning and it went well for a Sat.

Jerry and I had planned on going to look for a new microwave since ours die a few days ago. We were only planning to pay about $150. at the most. We went to Home Depot and looked around for a while. All the ones that we picked out were either not in stock or not the style we wanted. So we finally settled for one after 1.5 hrs later. It will be delivered on Friday. We paid a little over $150..... NOT!! We paid A LOT over $150.00 we spent a whooping $400.00 for a MICROWAVE!!! What were we thinking....But this one is cool... Its Stainless Steel and when you open it up the inside is BLUE!!! Okay if that doesn't do it for you....the buttons are on the bottom not the side like most other microwaves. So since it will be over the stove I will be able to reach all the buttons.

We went to Wal-Mart today and I found a couple of scrub tops. I couldn't find the size I needed but I decided what the heck I would try on the next size down. They fit except that they are a little tight around my middle..but everywhere else they fit. I bought them anyway.

I took pics of myself today and compared them to some pics from March 06. I put on the same clothes and stood in the same spot in the house. I really couldn't tell a big difference. hmmm...

Tomorrow I am going to work out and then go get my eye brows waxed ( they are so hairy they could crawl away)...lol...I am also going to get my nails and toe nails done. Pamper day....everyone needs a pamper day.

Better Day

2007-11-09T21:00:00.000-06:00

Today was much better than yesterday. I went to work out with my personal trainer then went to work. I walked into the break room and I saw the dreaded box of cake that I almost scarfed down the night before during my binge eating. My stomach turned...I was not even tempted by it.

All my dogs are finally caught up with their vacs. I still have the cat, Checkers, to take to the vet on Tuesday. She is not going to be happy. The last time I took her to the vet she cried and clawed at the cage (breaking her toe nails) for the whole 45min trip. I hate to stress her out but its for her own good.

MUST STAY FOCUSED

2007-11-08T21:17:00.000-06:00

I am not as tired today as I have been the last couple of days.

I have to try and lose 3 lbs in the next two weeks. I haven't been doing well on that today. MUST STAY FOCUSED....!!
I want to say thanks to everyone at my job who give me dirty looks when I am about to put something bad in my mouth. I don't know what my problem has been but I just cant stop eating crap food.

I talked to one of the girls from my dance studio and she is in my weight class too. She finally got under "THAT NUMBER". I was so happy for her...I left there feeling like I can do it too. I am just 4 lbs from being under "THAT NUMBER". But why can't I stop eating junk?

Yesterday I went to workout and I saw myself in the mirror while jogging on treadmill and I just got really down. I went to the dressing room and i was changing clothes and I just looked at myself with that disgusting feeling all over again. I felt like a big blob of fat. I hadn't felt like since I was 50lbs heavier. I guess that is why I couldn't stop eating that stupid cake today. I have to get past this and QUICK!!!! I only have 2 weeks to lose three little pounds. Just three!!!! that's it. (for now.) Small goals and it is reachable.

Another Long Day

2007-11-07T22:49:00.000-06:00

I just got home. I am heading off to bed. I have been up since 4:30am and it is now 11pm...This has been one long day. Will write more soon.

Must be in the Weather

2007-11-06T20:30:00.000-06:00

To tired to write about anything...too tired to work out,..too tired to go dance and too tired to stay awake while driving.

I barely remember my drive home and that's really scary. I think my car was on auto pilot or "someone else" was driving it home for me tonight.

Part of it must be the weather. (This is sleepy weather.)The other part is that I am just TIRED.

San Antonio Animal Care and Control Center

2007-11-05T21:22:00.000-06:00

I went to my wt in today. I lost 2.8lbs YEAH me!! 5lbs to go to reach my 1st goal. As I was sitting in the waiting room I was watching a mother with her child. He was about 5-6 years old. He picked an ad up off of the floor and after he was done with it he got up and went and placed it right in the same spot on the floor. She told him to pick it up and put it where he got it and he said but mom that is where I found it. (he did pick it up and placed it on the table)...It just made me laugh.

One of our clients from work came in today and we were talking about her new job. She works from home and goes to San Antonio 1-2 times a week. She was telling me how bad the shelter was in San Antonio. My heart just fell knowing the condition these animals were living in (even though they were only kept 72hrs before being gassed). She stated that Town Lake is not really bad compared to this place. She told me she went and opened the large metal door and the smell/stench that came out of it just knocked her over. There were large dogs in 3 x3 cages no food or water was seen. 50,000 cats and dogs were gassed in 2004 and the numbers are getting higher. She sent me a web site to read more about San Antonio Animal Care and Control Center (<----link). By the looks of it, there is NO CARE and definitely NO control here.

I want to help but I have no clue where to start. I think public awareness is probably the first place to start. I was helping her think of ways to get the word out there and how to get money donated. I want to go see this place for myself and just see if there is just one thing I can do to help these poor animals. It is going to take more that just one person to make a change...it will take a city or two. They do have a couple of Drs. who donate there time to spay and neuter these pets for free. That is a start. I would love to see a change in the care of these animals while they are in the shelters. Full breed dogs are being euthanized and do not get a chance for a rescue center to come in to save them. How sad is this? Does anyone have any ideas on what to do to help this Shelter make changes or raise money? I wish I had more time to donate. I will do what I can to do my share.

I know that some people are probably saying ..."If your that passionate about it help TownLake here in your own city." Well, honestly the number of animals that are euthanized here at TownLake are much lower than in San Antonio. Town Lake has people who want to voulnteer. The animals in town lake are not keep in such bad conditions. Most of Austin IS aware of the over popuation. I am not saying that I don't care about our Town Lake I would just like to help San Antonio be as aware as Austin is. For the Animals!!!!!

These poor helpless pets need help, they need a voice to speak for them. They need more of a fighting chance to live in happy loving homes like all of our pets do. They didn't pick this kind of life it was picked for them.They trust us to help them........
My heart just aches......well....I guess I am done for now. I will touch base after I have gone to see this place with my own eyes.

Beautiful Day

2007-11-04T20:02:00.000-06:00

I went to the barn today and rode Shiloh for the first time in MONTHS! He was such a great horse. He listened to every command and didn't buck or kick. I put his saddle on and I didn't even really have a hard time getting his bit in. (He likes to lift his head really high so I can't reach him. This is his game he plays with me.) I got on him and he stood still. I think he really missed me. I can't believe that he didn't act up at all. I haven't worked him in months..i usually just go out there and brush him and give him treats. He is the best horse anyone could ever have. I love him.

I was so proud of myself today. After going to the barn I picked Jerry up and we went to eat and then I asked him if he wanted to go to the park with me. Shocking he said yes. It was a nice evening. We drove to the house so I could change and I grabbed Mya (my pain in the butt dog) and we all headed to the park. We walked around the track twice and Jerry sat down (back was hurting). Mya and I took off and I jogged with her. The last time I went around this track was before the Triathlon in June. I couldn't jog but maybe only 50 to 60 ft at the most. This time I was really shocked...I made it completely around the track TWICE at a jog. The second time I went around I had to stop once because Mya freaked out over a guy stretching. I was so proud of myself. Major accomplishment. I never thought I would ever be able to make it around that track jogging once much less 2 times.
Once in the car I smelled anal glands. If you don't know what that smells like go work in an animal clinic some time. You will smell it. Mya freaked out so bad she expressed her anal glands. We drove with the windows down on the way home. That started the next event: BATHS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!
One by one...starting with Mya all my dogs got a bath and a spray of Adams spray because they now smelled like wet dogs. I let them all run around the living room rolling on their blankets after their baths. I love to watch them do that.

Tomorrow is my weigh in. I am NOT looking forward to this. I am really stressed that I am not able to stop eating the wrong things. I must be really stressed about something.
I have to get focused and STAY focused.

I tried on some jeans that I had for many years (my Rocky Mountains) I can almost get into them. I can get them buttoned but not zipped. Its weird that I am not losing wt. but I can still get into smaller (but still large) jeans. I have lost 3 pant sizes. Its hard to believe that I am able to get into clothes from 10 years ago. Yes I still have clothes in my closet from 10 YEARS ago....HA HA...how sad is that. I would still have my parachute pants <---(link- just incase you forgot what they looked like)if my mom wouldn't have thrown them away 20years ago. HA HA...I use to use those as my lose wt pants. If I got to the point I couldn't fit into those I would go on a diet until I was able to wear them again. They were a size 7. I did that for years. Then my mom thru them out because she didn't like them and they didn't fit me at the time. So out went my skinny jeans.

Lazy Day

2007-11-03T22:30:00.000-05:00

I didn't do much today. I slept in until 9am got up and fed dogs and then sat and watched TV. I was trying to get myself up and get out of the house and do something productive. I started to get sleepy by 11am so I decided to take a nap and then I would get up and out. I woke up at 1:20pm...I must have really needed that nap. I drove into Austin and ate with a friend of mine then came home.

I called Jerry and he said that he was coming home a day early. He sounded tired. He said that he had a great time. I hope his son did too.

Going to bed. Dont forget to set your clocks back tonight.

When the Cat is away the Mice will Play

2007-11-02T19:21:00.000-05:00

This is the third night by myself. So guess what kind of fun stuff I did today.....

1)Woke up at 4:30am to go to work.
2)Worked until 3pm
3)Checked on a dog after work
4)Went and worked out for an hour
5)Got home about 6pm
6)Cleaned ferret cage
7)Bathed ferrets and let them play in the bathroom.
8)Put all the dog blankets into wash
9)Put the load from washer to drier
10)Vacuumed up dog hair in kitchen, living room and bedroom.
11)Trimmed toe nails on 5 out of the 7 dogs I have.
12)Trimmed the ferrets nails. (yes, by myself..which is a challenge one handed)
13)Took clothes out of drier and placed blankets into drier.
14)Took sheets off of bed and put into washer
15)Gave all dogs a chewie
16)Placed clean sheets on bed
17)Took shower and finally sat down to rest @ 9:20pm

Well it doesn't really look like the mice are playing much....HA HA

I talked to Jerry today. He sounded good and rested. He said that they were having a good time he wished I could be there. I wish I could have been too. Oh well...next time

Well this is NaBloPoMo....this is where I have to post something everyday for a month...I will take this challenge. Wish me luck since I haven't really be into blogging lately.

HOME ALONE

2007-11-01T22:33:00.000-05:00

Well Jerry is in Houston and has been there since Wed. We went down there for his son's wedding. He decided to stay until Sunday, so I have the house and dogs to myself. It is really weird not to have him here. For the last 11 years he has always been here.

I woke up this morning and all the dogs were in bed with me which was nothing different. Except that I was laying ACROSS the bed with two of my wiener dogs one under each arm both looking right at me. When I finally got out of bed, I cleaned my tub, vacuumed the kitchen and living room and put two loads of laundry in. Wow..look at me. Usually in the morning Jerry is still sleeping so I am not able to do this. At night he is usually watching TV and or I am just tired.

Jerry called me tonight and told me that he miss me and the dogs. But said that he slept great last night. I told him it was because of not sleeping with the dogs. I told him that is one reason I like staying at my pet sitting jobs. Its like a mini vacation. He agreed.

I am really glad he decided to stay in Houston with his son. He really needed to get away from me and the dogs. I am glad that he has been sober now for almost 2 years. I am sure his son is happier to spend time with him too now that he is sober. I remember how much of a struggle it was to get his son to be in the same room with his dad when he had been drinking. Jerry was very hard to be around when he was drinking. Those days are now in the past for all of us.

I was a little bummed when I found out that I couldn't go back down to Houston this weekend. There is going to be a bike run (motorcycle) in Galveston,TX. That would have been my first bike run with a lot of other bikers. I had to stay home because I have a boarder that is going hm on Sat. in the pm. Oh well, maybe it was meant for this to be their time. (even though his son's wife will be there too) Oh well. There will be other rides.

What Classic Movie are you?

2007-10-16T20:37:00.000-05:00

I am this classic movie

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

I was Gandhi.....LOL thats all I am going to say about that....ha ha

THE NEW GYM IS NOW OPEN

2007-10-16T08:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the first day at "my" new gym. LIFETIME FITNESS. This was the first time I have ever gotten out of my car and looked at the people coming out of the gym and they ALL had big smiles on their faces. People were smiling going in. Seemed like we were all proud of this new place we had joined. It was a great feeling. The people were nice and everyone seemed happy. I thought I was in a dream where everyone was happy and smiling. I felt relaxed and happy to be going in to work out. Weird feeling. But I guess it should feel this way. Who wants to dread going to work out in a place you don't like and where the people aren't happy and don't really want to be there.... (sounds like another place I know)...ha ha

Kareen was right,the parking lot was packed but when you went into the gym you wondered where everyone was. This place is HUGE!!!! I met Kareen their for our first workout together since the Triathlon. It was like old times. We tried a couple of different machines then settled for one we both knew. The treadmill. I actually jogged on it. WOW!!! go me....Jogging/running is not my thing but it felt good to be able to do it without killing over after a few steps.

I was going to get up and do one of the cardio classes this morning but at the last min. I decide that I would be rushing around to much. I had to be a work to cover someones shift at 11am and the class was over at 10:45am and then I had pet sitting to do before I got to work. Plus I didn't want to go to work all sweaty. So I will try and go on Thursday. I will have more time. I will go tonight after work for a work out or a swim. I have packed my stuff and I am ready. This place is open 24/7. Some of the departments do close about 9-10pm. That's okay though.

Right Time at the Right Place

2007-10-09T20:41:00.000-05:00

I haven't really been in the mood to write much lately. I went to Houston this past weekend to spend some time with my friend and my parents.

On Sat. my friend and her daughter, her younger bother and her husband. Me and my mom and dad all went out to eat at Ichibon Japanese restaurant in Kemah. It was really good. Then we went back to my friends house and listen to the oldies. We laughed and we were singing all of the old songs from the 1940-1970's. It was 12:30am and my mom and dad started to get tired so they decided it was time to go. I took my parents home by the time we got to my moms house it was about 1:30am. I got out of the car and I heard this weird moaning. At first it sounded like two cats starting to fight. Then I heard it again. I looked across the street towards the sound and I noticed something moving. I went across the street and I heard the moan again. As I got closer to the backyard I notice it was a dog. He was on his back and a bush was really close to him. I thought the limb had gone through his neck. So I ran to the front door and knocked very loudly. Finally someone came to the door. I told him that something is wrong with his dog and he needed to check on him. I went to the side of the yard and I saw that the owners had opened the back door and all they said was " OH...DUDE". The dog started wagging his tail and started moaning and squirming once he saw them. They didn't even run to him to help. I noticed that the poor dogs tongue was starting to turn blue. I asked them if I could come into the yard and they said yes (they were still standing at the back door)....I went to the dog and noticed that he had wrapped himself around this small bush he had been tied to and part of the rope was in his mouth where he couldn't close his mouth. I didn't know how I was going to help this poor dog. I didn't have a knife to cut him loose so I started braking branches off to be able to get the rope off. At this time a cop pulled up. (I'm not sure if he was called out because of the moaning or if he was doing a drive by). He came into the backyard with me and told me to watch out for the dog. I told him that I work at an animal hospital and I was okay that I had a hold of the dogs head. He pulled out his knife and cut the rope from the dogs mouth. We both thought that he had cut the dog free of the bush but the poor dog was still stuck. So he had to cut the rope that was tangled around the bush. The poor dog jumped up and was able to walk around but was very weak. He still was having a hard time breathing so we both were rubbing the dogs neck and we noticed that the rope was so tight around the neck. He had a hard time getting his finger in between the dogs neck and rope. He was afraid that he was going to cut the dog in the neck but we had to get the rope off. The poor dog wasn't struggling much which made it easier for us to hold him and cut the rope. I checked the gums and they were really red (I think he was on the edge of going into shock). I told them to watch him and the cop told them to get some water for him. They got the pup some water which he drank so fast and just layed in the bowl. Then the owners said thanks and went back into the house leaving the poor scared dog outside. They didn't even act like cared. I don't even remember if they petted him once he was freed from the bush.

Anyway, I found out later that the puppy (9 months old) learned to get out of the backyard that day. So the owners thought it would be good to tie the poor pup up for the night so that it didn't get out during the night.
I am just so thankful I was there at the right time or that poor pup would have not made it. I couldn't imagine waking up and finding my poor puppy tangled in that bush dead. I hope that scared them enough to never do that again.
I found out the next day the the pup was doing fine....because he got out of the backyard and was running around the neighbor hood. I just hope he doesn't get hit by a car.

Some people just don't need dogs.

More Pictures of my Trips to New Orleans 2007

2007-09-08T23:10:00.000-05:00

Curious minds want to know

2007-09-07T20:16:00.000-05:00

Just so everyone knows...yes I do wear a helmet at all times. I also wear gloves, jeans and proper footwear. As for the long sleeves...well I don't wear long sleeves during the summer. Once I lose 50 more pounds I will be wearing an ALL leather.... skimpy outfit with spaghetti straps...still looking for that perfect outfit..once I find it I will post pictures of it....LOL...yeah right.

My 2 "near death" experience

2007-09-03T22:37:00.000-05:00

This weekend my husbands son and girlfriend were supposed to come for a visit and at the last min they cancelled due to the rain and that his daughter was going to come stay with him. Jerry was really disappointed because he really wanted to spend some time with his son and go bike riding. Then later on Friday his son called and stated that his daughter wasn't coming after all. So we told them to still come out for a visit. His son brought his new Harley to show his dad. They got in really late on Friday night 1:30a, (really Sat Morning). The next morning we all decided that the weather looked okay so we decided to do a family ride. We all got on our bikes and took to the streets hoping that the rain would stay away for our first ride together as a family. Jerry was first then me and then his son with his girlfriend on the back. Our first stop was for breakfast in Lockhart then we rode into Austin down hwy 71 and stopped and Cindy's Hog Wild (biker bar) then we went home to Lockhart. It looked like we were going to get rained on but it held off. Once home we rested a bit and decided that we would go into San Marcos to eat. So we got on the bikes again and still hoping the rain would hold off. It held off until we made it back home for the night. I was so glad that the rain held off. I was really nervous about riding in the rain. I am still trying to get use to riding. There were a couple of times Jerry would take sharp turns or last min turns. It really pissed me off. I need lots of noticed before turns because I have to think about what I need to do. I told him after the first quick turn we made and told him to please remember I needed more time. He said that he was sorry and that he would give me more notice.

My first "near death" experience was when Jerry decided to take another last min turn. There was a cop stopped at a light heading towards us and a cop in front of us. Jerry turns suddenly and I locked up the bike and squealed the tires...I felt the back wheel slide to the side. I thought I was going down but I held on and stayed in control. I thought at first the squealing tires was his son who was behind me, until I realized my tire sliding to the side. I was cussing and was so pissed. Jerry's son pulled up beside me (I was still in the intersection and cars were everywhere) and he asked if I was okay. I said yes but I was very pissed. He said that He was really shocked on how well I handled the bike. We all pulled over and Jerry apologized and asked if I was okay. Well we took off again and headed to Cindy's. We were able to laughed about that situation once I calmed down.

My second "near death" experience was on are way home from Cindy's and we turned onto our neighborhood. Since my bike is lowered so much I have to be really careful not to high center it. Well when I turned my kick stand hit the road and I went off the road into the grass and I thought I was going to lose it. I was afraid that as I was trying to get back on the cement my tire was going sink into the ground and hit the curb and I was going to go flying over the handle bars. I just prayed and I think I closed my eyes..lol(not a good Idea)...and my bike smoothly went back onto the road.
I think his son was really nervous about me. Because his girlfriend told me that on that last "near death" she heard his son say out loud to me to "pull out of it". He kept giving me tips while we were out riding too. How cute.
I wish we could have gotten pictures of all of us on our bikes.
Well, I was really glad that his son came down. We all had a good time and a good ride. Hopefully this will be the only type of "near death" experiences I will have. LOL

A little about my trip to New Orleans

2007-08-31T22:50:00.000-05:00

I have been trying to find the energy to write something since I have been back from my vacation in New Orleans. So I sit to write I find that I am so tired I can't get my thoughts going. I will give it a try again.

I had a great time in New Orleans with my friend and her family. I have never been to New Orleans so this was my first experience. You can tell that New Orleans is trying to rebuild. There were many shops that were still closed and many that closed early. I assumed that most of the shops closed early do to lack of help. There were lots of "Help wanted" signs which means that business is good. We attempted to go to the mall and realized that it closed by 6pm. The streets were cleaner then what thought (due to Katrina). Everybody seemed really nice and had good spirits. I loved walking around the square and watching all the people who sat and did their special talents. Palm readers, artist, musicians and people who stood as still as a statue for hours. I couldn't help but tip them. The artist just really amazed me. I wish I could have just a little of the talent they had. I could have stood and watched them for hours. What really touched me was that some of the homeless people didn't ask for money but they asked for our to go boxes. So every time we ate we all left something to take with us just in case someone asked. We would walk around the square and this man walked up and ask if he could have our food to feed him and his dog. As we walked away we turned and saw that he gave the first bite to his dog and then himself. It just touched our hearts.

This is my friends younger bother (Mike). Her other brother and his wife and kids came with us too but I don't have pictures of them.

This is my friends daughter (Victoria)...she had me laughing the whole time.

This is a picture of all of us in a restaurant called Muriel's. This place is said to be haunted. It was so cool. It was expensive but worth it. Especially the bread pudding......(as much as we loved our food we still saved some for our fellow homeless guy and his dog) I hope he enjoyed is as much as we did.

left to right: Mike, Me, Randy (my friends husband), Victoria and my best friend Tina.

Every night wine and bread are place on this table in a hallway for the Ghost of Antoine Lepardi Jourdan and Guest. Eating or drinking of the bread and wine left for him would result in bad karma.

We did a lot of walking and I did a lot of cheating on my diet. The food was great and I just couldn't help myself. Everyday we would get up and walk to the french quarters then after 3-4 hrs in the heat we would crawl back to the hotel and take showers and naps. Then we would get up and head back out to the french quarters for another 3-4 hrs. Lots of walking. Of course we had to go to Bourbon street just once so we had to take the kids to the hotel so the adults could go and have some adult time. We were out until 3:30am dancing and drinking and we didn't get to bed until after 6am. I think that next day we all just stayed in bed until later that night when we decided to get up and go eat.

We also had Cafe Au Lait and beignets at Cafe Du Monde about 3 times...or it could have be 4 times....HA HA.. once on our way back home for the last time.

We went and did a tour of Oak Alley Plantation and it was so breath taking. The trees were just amazing. We got pictures but I don't have them yet. My friend said that she would send them to me...but if I know her it will be awhile.

Tina took us through the St. Louis Cemetery where Marie Laveau, the Voodoo Queen, is buried. My friend know so much about New Orleans so she was like our own personal tour guide.

We also did a swamp tour Honey Island Swamp Tour and we got to see about 3 alligators. I knew some of the information about the alligators from watching animal planet but I didn't know that alligators like MARSHMALLOWS!!! Animal planet never covered that. HA HA

I hope to get more pictures posted as soon as I get them.

San Antonio -2007 Showcase----

2007-08-12T13:25:00.001-05:00

Well I am home from San Antonio. My day started on Sat about 6am and ended at 2am. It was a long day but it was fun. We did our solo routine about 10:30am and everyone liked it. We got lots of compliments on in it. Here are some pictures. I hate any picture that I am in but here they are anyway.

<------This picture of Dominic just cracks me up. He is such a ham when it comes to the camera. He keeps me laughing. One of the other pictures (I didn't post) we are both laughing so hard. I didn't want to post that one because I look like the joker from Batman when I smile. That is what someone told me once - one of the many reasons I don't like my pictures.

Our next dance showcase is going to be held in Chicago in Oct. I can't wait for that one. I have never been to Chicago so we are going a few days early to do some sight seeing. I am not sure what dance we are going to do yet but it will be fun. We might do our routine to "Short People" by Randy Newman. We have only done that routine once for an open house and it was a big hit.

Dominic has another student that I like and we are planning on doing a routine with all three of us. It will be the Mambo. We are going to keep it quite until the day we decide to do it. So in the mean time we will practice separately then put it together later. I want to lose 50 lbs more before we do it because the other girl (Donna) and I will be having matching dresses made and I told them I wanted to lose 50 more lbs. That will be my goal and my treat to myself. Its going to be fun. I am really excited about doing it.

Skirt or Pants.....

2007-08-09T23:07:00.001-05:00

I am heading to San Antonio tomorrow for my dance thing on Sat. I am really shocked that I was talked into wearing a skirt. I had planned on wearing the pants that I always wear but since my weight loss they are really big on me. Kareen said that the pants made me look like I put on the fifty pounds I just lost. So I tried on a skirt I bought about a year ago and she stated that it looked much better than the pants. Later that night I tried the skirt on before our dress rehearsal and my instrustor and two other instructors liked the skirt too.

I am not a skirt/dress person at all. I love my jeans and feel very comfortable in them. I have always been a tomboy and always will be. So it will be interesting to see how it goes on Sat. I will update when I get home.

Wish me luck.

Weight Loss Update

2007-07-31T22:47:00.001-05:00

My last two weeks of weigh ins haven't really been all that great. You have to keep losing a certain amount of weight every 4 weeks. If that is not maintained then they put you into maintenance. In maintenance, you are not reporting to a Dr. and they help you transition in protein and grains. So I was in jeopardy of going to maintenance. They say you can still lose weight doing maintenance but I still need the Dr. supervision. (just in case I ever need the by-pass surgery)

I was out of town this weekend and I was thinking I wasn't going to be able to lose the amount of weight needed to keep me in the class I am in. I drove in from Houston to make my appt and I was not wearing my usual scrubs for my weight in (I always have wore scrubs for my weight ins) and I just knew that my weight loss wasn't going to be enough to get me through. They took me to the nurse station where they take your blood pressure (done every week sitting and then standing). Then to the dreaded scale. I looked at it, paused and took a deep breath and held it until the numbers stopped. 3lbs this week...OH MY GOD!! I stood there looking at the numbers and looking back at my last weight. I couldn't believe it. I even had my real clothes on and I had started my period. Talk about feeling great. I needed that boost this week.

Today at work I was standing between two walls ....the space is large enought for a big floor dog scale. I was talking to one of my co-workers and Jennifer walked up and she walked around and I thought she was walking behind the two walls as I turned to see where she went (just in case she was trying to get around me between the two walls and I could move out of her way ) I had noticed that she too was walking in bewteen the two walls and I didn't have to move and she didn't even touch me!!! I started to laugh then I started to cry...and my co-workers who were up there at the time wanted to know what was wrong and all I could say between laughter and tears is that ...that was the first time I didn't have to move out of that small space to let someone pass. I felt so stupid crying over that....but the feeling of that was so over whelming I just coulndn't contain my excitement. I know I have lost the weight but I just really don't really realize how much 45lbs really makes a difference until something like this happens.
This weekend I took my friends daughter and my friends younger brother to the skating rink and I sat on the bench and I noticed that I was able to sit indian style with no problems and inside I was jumping for joy and I looked around to see if there was anyone I could tell and there were little kids (ages from 6-16) all over the place and I realized that they really wouldn't care or understand so I just sat there indian style for 2 hours with a big smile on my face.
I also noticed that I was able to put my shoes on without having to unbotton my pants. I am getting more confidence when I walk into a room/store.

I have still have small goals and I have to focus on them. My next goal is to lose 5lbs to make a total of 50lbs. Then 10lbs more will put me under my next goal. I have about 70-80 lbs to go. If I lost 80 lbs that will put me at the weight I was in high school. I am not sure if that weight would be good for me at my age now but I will just see how I feel as I lose more weight. I think the weight charts are a good start but I don't think they are realistic. I think you just have to see where you are comfortable.
Well, I am going to go and be proud of myself...

Not much to say

2007-07-26T19:13:00.000-05:00

I am still here. Just really havent had much to say. Just been working and working. Things have slowed down with my pet sitting. So now I can breath some. I have been in a blah mood today just not really here wanting to be somewhere else. Maybe more later.

TOO TIRED

2007-07-18T23:10:00.000-05:00

Well it has been exactly one month since I have blogged. I really don't have much to say. Well I do but, I am just to tired to put the time and emotions into it. Since I have gotten back from my trip to the beach I have been so stressed at home and running like crazy. Most of my days start at 4am and end about 10 to 11pm. I have planned another trip for the weekend here soon and the again in August. I am so tired that if I sit to long I fall asleep. Not very good ...especially when driving.
I am still hoping my husband will leave for 2 -4 weeks. He really needs to go for MANY reasons. Most of the people who read my blog I have already told why he needs to leave.
Well an update on my weight...41lbs LOST!! Yeah me!!!
I will try and get back into updating more.

second day of vacation/ home

2007-06-18T00:35:00.000-05:00

I made it to Freeport to try and relax for a few days. It rained all the way there and my friend called me regarding Shiloh. We had to call the vet out for an emergency visit. He was still having grass and feed coming out of his nose. She told me that the vet took his vitals and stated that his heart rate and temp was all normal. He didn't seem like he was in any stress, which he said that was good, but there is a reason why he is still having food coming out of his nose. There might be a blockage somewhere in his gut so they needed to scope him but he didn't have one. He said that Shiloh would be fine until Monday. So my friend will be taking him to the vet tomorrow morning.

UPDATE SHILOH: He is fine. No reason to take him to the vet to get scoped.

Thursday: I am now home and wishing I had a few more days on vacation. I feel well rested. I had a great time and enjoyed the company of my friend. I think she felt better as well. I was in the pool twice a day and I actually got into the water and played in the waves with my friends brother Michael. My friends daughter and her friend were there and I really enjoyed them too. I slept until 12noon everyday and it was heaven. My body didn't know what to do with all the sleep.
I really enjoyed the sound of the waves and the sea gulls. It brought me so much peace.

Friday: I really don't want to talk about what happened today. I am very angry and I am stressed all over again.

Blogging from Houston

2007-06-17T00:01:00.000-05:00

I made it to Houston this afternoon. Once I got there we got in the car and went to get our pedicures done. Yeah!! I love doing the "girly" thing. During the toenail drying process, I received a phone call from Renee (the lady who keeps my horse). I answered saying "is he okay...what happened" She never calls me so I knew if she was calling this late something was wrong. She said that Shiloh started choking and food was coming out of nose (not a good sign). She thought that something was caught in his throat. She told me that he wasn't in danger of dieing ...yet. She said that if it was her horse she wouldn't panic yet. I told her that I was in Houston and that I could not come out. I told her to be on the safe side to call the vet out for an emergency visit. She said that she would. I couldn't believe that this was happening. I called my husband to at least go out there to be with him since I couldn't. I got off the phone and cried. I felt so guilty because I wanted to go out to see him before I left for Houston to let him know I loved him and that I would be back to spend more time with him and I didn't go.
Well, she called me back and told me that Shiloh drank some water and then ate the rest of his food. She told me that usually if they are still having problems they wouldn't eat. So eating the rest of his food was a good sign. So she called the vet and told her not to come out. They moved him to a pen closer to their house so that she could peek out at him during the night. I am sure he will be fine now. I told her he is just doing this to make me feel guilty for not coming out to spend time with him since I had been training for the triathlon.
Tomorrow I will call to see how he is doing. I will be off to the beach tomorrow too. I can't wait to be on the beach..smelling the salt water and listening to the waves. I will be back Wed. night. I will update when I get home.

Danskin Triathlon 2007

2007-06-12T08:48:00.000-05:00

"The Women who starts the race is not the same woman who finishes the race."

I can't believe that the triathlon is now over. I can't believe that I can now say "I AM a triathlete". I can't believe I did the whole thing and finished with a smile. I can't believe that I was strong enough to do what I never thought I could do. I am COURAGEOUS!! (that was my waves word before we started the swim) I am a courageous swimmer, I am a courageous biker and I am a courageous runner..(in my case walker/jogger).

My scores:
Swim =36 mins
1st trans= 6mins (I made a phone call)
Bike=1:11
2nd trans= 3mins
Run=58 mins
total race time = 2:55

My experience was amazing! I was glad I got to be in the same wave a Jennifer. She kept me calm and kept a smile on my face. During my swim I just kept focused on what I was doing and just kept swimming. I couldn't believe I made it to the end of the swim with a smile I make my way up the path of all the cheering people. I could hear them calling my number out and it made me push harder. My bike ride I think was the hardest for me. THE HILLS!!! I loved the bike route it was really pretty. I found myself just enjoying the view and not worried about the race. Out of all the hills I walked halfway up the largest one (after the right turn) I ran out of momentum for that one. I was okay with that. It made me push up the rest because I was NOT going to walk up more than one. The 3 mile walk/run was not to bad. I jogged and walked...I couldn't believe that I was now on the last event. Along the side of the trail were signs I really can't remember the all of them but the one that stands out for me is "Do it for the women who can't" this one made me tear up. I thought about my mom and my grandmother. I thought about all the overweight people who in their minds tell themselves that they can't do it. I thought about all the people who have health challenges. They all gave me strength to finish the race..not just for myself but for all who couldn't.
It was really funny that I got teary eyed thinking about crossing the finish line and how great it would be to cross the line together with Jennifer and Kareen. I thought how silly..they both were done and have been waiting for me to finish. Once I was at maybe the 1/2 mile of the run. I saw Jennifer...it was so cool. Just thinking about it just makes me cry. She walked back with me and we laughed...then Kareen left her family (Cole and her mom) and Emily (Jennifers sister) joined me to make that journey over the finish line. What a great feeling knowing that you have the support of three GREAT Women by your side as you cross the finish line not as an overweight person but a strong and courageous TRIATHLETE!!!

My Emergency Trip

2007-05-28T13:04:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a busy day running and pet sitting. Jerry and I drove into town (Austin) about 4pm to drop off one of the dogs that was staying with us. We had to kill time until we needed to check on the other pets so we decided to go to Circuit City and price HDTVs. (ours is going out soon...I just know it:). Then we went to Pet Smart and then to Barnes and Noble. Before we noticed it was 8pm. So we took off and took care of the three dogs and a cat. (sounds like a movie)..LOL...Anyway I was hungry and we decided to eat at Marie Callenders for dinner. I ordered steamed veggies with NO CHEESE..(yeah me) and a side salad. I was so proud of myself I didn't even really want anything else. It was a good afternoon. So by the time we got home it was about 10pm took care of all the dogs and we settled in for the night. I was on the computer until 1:30am I started having stomach pains so I decided to go to bed. I got up and the pain just got worse. I was feeling light headed and felt like if I could just throw up I would be fine. By the time I walked to my bathroom I was almost doubled over in pain and I was breaking out in a sweat. I laid my head on the counter in my bathroom to catch my breath and hope it would help to ease my pain. The next thing I know I am now on the floor. I hear a dog screaming and Jerry asking if everything is okay. He comes into the bathroom and fines me on the floor. He had me stay there until I felt better then he helped me sit up. I asked him if Lisa was okay. She was the dog screaming and who had sprayed anal glands all over my bathroom wall. I am not sure but I think I fell on her. I felt so bad..she was so frightened. Once I was back on my feet we went looking for her and we couldn't find her. I finally found her hiding behind the toilet in the second bathroom. She wasn't acting right. In the mean time I am still not feeling right. So I called my mom and asked her if I should go to the Emergency now or wait until next week. She told me that I should go. So now it is 2:00am and Jerry and I are off to the Emergency clinic.
Long story short: they took blood and EKG...everything was normal.

The Dr. said that I had what they call "Vagal Reaction"- Fainting (syncope) is a temporary loss of consciousness ("passing out"). It occurs when blood flow to the brain is reduced. A vagal reaction is a reflex response that causes the pulse to slow down. IF the pulse is low enough, the blood pressure falls and causes fainting or near-fainting. Lying down usually stops the reaction within 60 seconds. This reflex can occur during sudden fear, severe pain, emotional stress, overexertion or suddenly standing up after sitting or lying for a long time.

Thank God I didn't have to have surgery for anything..Kareen would have killed me since the triathlon is only 13 days away.
They are not sure why I had the stomach pain in the first place. I still don't know why I passed out...I have dealt with worse pain than this before. I am thinking the stomach pains are from me adding fruits and veggies to my diet, I think my system is trying to cope with the change.
So by the time we left the emergency it was 5am and I still had to go check on dogs about 9am...So I asked Jerry if he could drive me out to Austin and we could check on the animals then come home and sleep. So that is what we did. So we got home about 7:45am. I let our dogs out and went to bed.

I woke up about 11:30am and now I am off to clean my car and drive to see my mom in Seguin. (how funny she just called 1:35pm) bye for now.

My First Open Water Swim

2007-05-20T21:21:00.001-05:00

I have been really busy these last few days with pet sitting and training. So I haven't been able to blog much. Kareen and I had our group training on Sat. It was our first open swim at Decker Lake. (this is where the Triathlon is going to take place). The water was warmer than I was expecting and really green. It was a great day for the swim. They had us swim the total distance for the triathlon (1/2 mile) It wasn't as bad as I was expecting. I know that I will have to figure out what I am going to do with the diet during race day. After the swim I ran out of juice really quick. I ate a bar and a slice of watermelon..( not on my diet at this time).

Then today Kareen and I met up with Jennifer and her husband Anthony and Jennifer's sister, Emily for ANOTHER open water swim at the Plfugerville lake. It was another beautiful day for a swim. I was still tired from yesterday. So in we go..we swam to the other side of the lake...Half way there I started to panic. I was swimming and swimming but it didn't seem like i was getting anywhere. By the time I made it to the other side I was so tired and didn't think that I was going to make it back. But I rested and headed back this time going against the wind and current. I thought it was going to be worse but shocking it wasn't as bad. I swollow so much water going back. But overall the swim back seemed to be "easier" than the first. I didn't panic and I felt like I was getting somewhere. Plus, I had Jennifer keeping me company on the way back. I felt bad that I was holding her back. But it was really nice for to stay back with me. It made me work harder to finish. THANKS JENNIFER!!!!! Of course I was still last...but Oh well I still made it.

On our way home Kareen and I were talking about the swim. In the process I said a bad word..."FU%K" after I said it I looked at Kareen and said Sorry. (Cole was in the backseat) We started laughing and then I hear Cole say..."Leah, Its okay to say FU%K, its not a bad word" Again I said sorry to Kareen. I am usually pretty careful about what I say around Cole. Of all things for him to hear me say.
Later that night I call Kareen and Cole answers and tells me that I got him in trouble for saying "FU%K" and told me not to ever say it again. I told him I was sorry. Kareen gets on the phone and tells me that he was moving the trash can and he asked her to move the "Fu%king ladder out of his way". So now he has repeated that word about 5 times now. OH MY!!!! I am so sorry Kareen. Its funny how they know how to use it in the right places.

Well, I had another wiener dog that I needed to find a home for. I have had him (Riley) for about 4 days now and I think I have found him a new home. and NO its not mine!!!!!! I think if I would have kept him any longer he would have stayed for ever. Right now he is spending some time with the potential owners. I thought about this person because about a year ago they lost their wiener dog. They love him very much and did everything for him. Unfortunately he drowned in their pool. He was old and couldn't see and couldn't really walk straight. Anyway, they are going to "try" Riley out for a few days. IF it doesn't work he will be back. So keep your fingers crossed and hope that it works.

Email I received.....

2007-05-09T22:32:00.000-05:00

I got home tonight after a long bike ride.......oh my God...what was I thinking. Now my worst part of this Tri is the bike.....I so suck.....but "I am strong and I will finish". (that is what I kept chanting to myself going up the hills)...LOL
Well, I finally made it home and I got on my computer and I received this email which read:

HI!

My name is Cassie and I am from the Danskin Women’s Triathlon Series which you are participating in this coming June! You may have gotten one or two emails asking the same thing I am about to ask you, but if you have the time I would really appreciate a response. I am part of the Public Relations team for Danskin and I have been in contact with some local media that are interested in highlighting/profiling some of the women from Lockhart that are participating in the Danskin Tri Series. If you are willing to share your story with me I would greatly appreciate it as I am excited to work with you to help promote Danskin’s goal of empowering the everyday woman to challenge themselves and help them accomplish their individual goals.

I am very excited to hear “WHY U TRI”! If you decide to share your story with me (the sooner the better) it would be great to include who you are doing the race with (if anyone) and the best way to contact you. Again, this is completely optional but any help would be appreciated as your story can act as motivation for so many women out there!

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Cassie

hmmmm.....

so I sent her an email back...saying I will help her out....OH MY GOD!!...what am I thinking.....I would NEVER do something like that...ever..... what if they want to video me doing the race...what if they want to take pictures of me....oh my....could I get a stand in...?

My 5 Question Interview

2007-05-06T21:19:00.000-05:00

Thanks Jennifer for my questions. So here it goes:

1. What makes you like Dachshunds so much?
(as I am answering this I am wearing my I Love my Wiener shirt..LOL)
I don't just like the wiener dog I LOVE them. They are short and squatty. They are head strong and it doesn't matter their size they have the attitude that they can conquer the world. They see something and they go after it without hesitation. They want to please the ones that love them.---So I guess in other words they remind me of myself. Not only do I look like a wiener dog...(short and squatty) but I think I have the attitude of one.

2. Why did you agree to do the Danskin Triathlon?
Well, a few years ago I saw the newspaper article about a woman who was larger than me and she finished the triathlon. I am a very active person and I thought if she could do it so can I. I never in a life time thought I would ever do one, so when I was asked I said Sure. I am doing some changing in my life and one thing is to put my weight aside and "conquer the world" (like the wiener dog...lol). I want other heavy people to see me and get motivated like I was by that woman. I will do it and I WILL FINISH!!!

3. Where is your favorite place to vacation?
I really haven't gone on a vacation in over 6 years. I have recently planned to met with a friend for a get away at the beach. I have been wanting to go to the beach for a few years now. Nothing like feeling the sand on your feet (and everywhere else). I love everything about being there: on the sand, hearing the waves crash on the shore, the smell of the salt water, the sea gulls, the smell of suntan lotion and I remember how at peace I felt. At night was always the best. We would look up at the sky and it was so clear and the stars and the moon would just light up the whole beach. I can remember being in the tent trying to fall asleep and I would just lay there all night listening to the waves and thinking. I remember the hermit crabs, jelly fish and how I would try and find as many sand dollars as I could and as many different sea shells. I think also it just reminds me of when I was growing up. My family and close friends would all go to the beach and put up a tent (back when you could camp right on the beach) and stay for the whole weekend. It was great fun. SO...the beach is my answer...lol

4. What do you miss about your old job (other than the higher pay)?

I miss that I worked with mostly men. (women are too emotional to work with...lol) I really miss building something with my own two hands and seeing the finished product. I miss being the only one who could install a cable that had so many connections nobody wanted to do it so they called me. They liked how I routed the cable in a neat way and it worked after being installed. I felt important. I always took pride in my work. I love turning wrenches and working with my hands. (I was such a tom- boy growing up.....I guess I still am...)

5. If you couldn't ever eat chili cheese fries again, and knowing that you would have to eat very small meals for the rest of your life, would you still want gastric bypass surgery? (if this question is too personal, let me know and I'll submit a different one).

I would rather go without chili cheese fries and eat small meals for the rest of my life if I knew I would NEVER have to be a prisoner in my own body ever again. There is nothing like living in this disgusting fat body. If you have never suffered being obese you will never understand what kind of life a fat person lives. Its lonely and depressing...the negative thoughts NEVER NEVER stop. If I can lose this weight on my own without surgery AND keep it off, I will be a stronger person. I will be proud of me. I am just really scared and I hope I can just keep it off. I just hope that the weight will not come back with revenge. So right now I AM doing it on my own...and I will do everything I can to keep it off.......I don't know what the future holds.

Well....there it is...and it didn't even take me that long. Yeah me.

Something to make you smile

2007-05-05T11:49:00.000-05:00

I received this email below today and I think if I ever have children I will change the story of a found penny from meaning "good luck" to this one.

I found a penny today laying on the ground.But it's not just a penny, this little coin I've found. Found pennies come from heaven. Angels toss them down when they miss you. Sometimes just to cheer you up, or to make a smile out of your frown.
So, don't pass by that penny when you're feeling blue. It may be a penny from heaven that an Angel has tossed to you.

This made me smile...I know it is really sappy but I couldn't help it.

Sorry I haven't been able to post anything lately but I have been in Austin pet sitting. I just now got home today. I did some cleaning (nothing major), took a shower and now I am sitting here on the computer.

I went and did my Dr. appt. and I lost 4.4lbs this last week. That takes me up to 21.2lbs of nasty, disgusting, smothering fat lost in just 7 WEEKS!!!!... yeah me. Last week was really hard for me...I was hungry and couldn't eat enough. (thank God I had THEIR food to shove in my mouth)...I never could get full and at times I would just go to bed to try and forget I was hungry. Anyway I made it through with better results than I expected. I was thinking I would only lose 2 lbs this week.

I have to confess that I have not been working this week since Kareen has been gone. She motivates me and keeps me honest about my workout. I feel bad now that I know she is working out EVEN on vacation. It is so easy to just go home after a long day. So I can't wait for her to get home to get me back on track. I will just have to work extra hard this next week.

Weight update.............

2007-04-26T19:55:00.000-05:00

Well, I said that I would update on my weight loss after my appt. today. I lost 1.2lbs this week. ARRGHHH...But that's okay...I will take it. At least it was a lost and not a GAIN like I thought. The Dr. told me to keep up what I am doing that I had a lot of PA (physical activity) this past week and that it will show next week. I hope so.

Update training

2007-04-25T21:52:00.000-05:00

Well, I have just been so busy so I haven't been able to blog. I am usually up at the crack most days and I am getting home between 9pm -11pm and getting up at 4:30am most most mornings. I have been really tired and just cant get my mind relaxed enough to write anything.

Today was our first bike ride with the Tri group. It went okay. We went over riding in a straight line then trying to reach for our water bottles trying to stay in a straight line. We also worked on giving hand signals, switching gears, braking, and making u-turns. After going over all this we took the bikes out on the street. I don't know what I was thinking when I took on this Triathlon....I suck in every event.....I will truly be last....but oh well...the main thing is that i finish right. But of course I don't want to be the last one.....I guess that will make me work harder.

Last night we had a great storm. It woke us up about 1am and the wind was I swear up to 50mph. I thought I heard hail but my husband said no it was a tree. As I listened to the nosies I realized it was a tree. We (my husband and ALL 7 dogs) all just crawled deeper under the covers and went back to sleep. I finally got back to sleep about 3am and had to get up at 4:30am...

When I woke up I turned on my bathroom light and 10mins later our doorbell rings....I look at Jerry and he got up to see who it was at 4:30am. It was our neighbor....she said that she was sorry to be coming over so early but she knew I was up. ( she can see the light/me in my bathroom from her back porch. Note to self...KEEP WINDOW SHUT ) She told us that her tree landed on our house. Great!! She said that she was up at 2:am with her insurance company. I noticed later that there was another large branch in our back yard and one in the front which just missed my car. Well, she called a tree trimmer guy (who she just used last week) to come and help us both out. Anyway there was little damage to our house but it shouldn't cause any leaking.

Well...tomorrow I am going to weigh in. I am a little nervous because I did cheat this weekend. Nothing bad (two breakfast tacos) I stayed in town over night at the last min since I was so exhausted and I didn't have enough of my meals to keep me going for the next day. I think I worked them off but I still am worried. I will update soon with my weight loss. Right now I am at 15 lbs lost in 5 weeks.

Blog blog blog

2007-04-15T08:24:00.000-05:00

It has been 1o days since my last blog. ( sounds like i am confessing my sins...HA HA). Lets see..where do I begin? I went to weigh in on Thursday. I lost 2.8 more lbs. Total of 13lbs. By now everyone who knows about my diet has heard about that already so that is old news....but good.

We (Kareen and I) started our first week in the Triathlon group training. So far not much is really going on as far as working out. The first night was just basicly just registering and just getting to know about the group. We did a small walk and worked with our HRM (heart rate monitor). They give us a work out schedule for the week. Each day they give us an assignment ie...walking/running or bike riding or swimming. The second meeting we (the group and I)went to 360 Cycleworks for an Expo. Had some good information on changing a flat and proper bike fitting and helmet fitting. They had a couple of good sells. I bought me 2 tires CST Selecta (26" mountain bike size) smooth tread Kevlar (the stuff that bullet proof vest are made of) belted tires with 3 tubes with installation for $40 reg. price was $52. Then I paid for Kareen and I up for a fitting. I think my bike is fine except I think my gears need adjusting. Kareen is using a bike that was given to her so it needs to be fitted to her. I want her to feel comfortable on it as much as possible. For the fitting we got half off on that so for the two of us it was only $60 . I think I did well by not going over board on the spending....this time....LOL...

I am kind of worried that this is going to be another expensive habit. HA HA....I have my horse habit, motorcycle habit and most expensive habit is my ballroom dancing.
I am so excited about this whole triathlon thing its not even funny. In a way I hope I do get hooked because this will help me in the future to keep my weight off. The next thing I need to find is something to wear. I like to try on what I buy and I don't want to order over the Internet. So I have to find a place that carries my sizes. There are not that many out there. I don't want to have to worry about changing too much during the race. I think I want something I can just slip on over my swim suit and keep going. I have to find something soon so I can get use to working in them.

Well...I am off to get ready for the day..not sure what I will be doing today. I might go out to see my horse...I am a bad mom.

bye bye bye --green carpet and fat

2007-04-05T21:30:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't had time to blog. I have been pet sitting for the last week without access to a computer. I am home for the night and then I am gone again for the weekend. I won't be able to write much since my husband is wanting me to spend time with him.

Yesterday I came home and had this big surge of energy and I pulled up my nasty, dirty, stinky, stained and faded green carpet mostly by myself. (husband helped with clean up) When I got home I asked my hubby where the box cutters were. He asked why...and I said that the nasty, dirty, stinky, stained and faded green carpet was out of here. He said " I don't want to pull up the carpet now"...I told him he didn't have to that I was going to do it. Of course as I started to cut the carpet into small manageable pieces he tried to tell me how to do it. I told him I didn't need him to tell me how to pull up the carpet. He continued so I walked to the bedroom door and opened it. I said do you see that big leather chair....go put your butt in it and stay there. So he did it. Anything to get out of work.

It took me about 2.5 hrs to get it completely done. The sad part to this joyous occasion was, in the process of putting the bed back we broke it. I was so upset. I love my bed..so I hope it can be fixed. Who knows how long we will have a cinder block holding up his side of the bed. I might have to try and fix it myself. This bed cost close to $2,000.00 and if it can't be fixed I am going to be heartbroken. I guess I can look on the bright side. I have been wanting to get one of those water tube mattress and if it can't be fixed then I can always get one of those. Our mattress on this bed sucks. We all end up in the middle of the bed like a taco...dogs and all and have to climb out....ha ha

My next room to tackle with the removal of the nasty, dirty, stinky, stained and faded green carpet is the computer room. I will have to wait on that one for a few weeks. There is lots of furniture in that room with lots of books. I will definitely take my time in this room so I don't break my computer desk too.

Well I was going to try and keep everyone updated on my progress on my weight loss but since I haven't had access to a computer I haven't had time...So 10lbs later.....yes 10lbs in 3 weeks! Of course I would have liked more but....I will take it. Also for the first time my cholesterol was high (224) before I started this diet program and after three weeks it is now normal (184). Yeah me!!

I was talking to one of the girls who has been on this diet since Oct. (6 months) and she said that she has lost 123lbs. WOW!! I even saw before and after pictures. It was amazing!! I can't wait to lose that much. Another guy in the group has lost 25lbs in 1 month. Men always lose the weight faster then women. I hate that but I will have to stay focused... One day at a time. A couple of coworkers just don't understand about this whole diet thing and are always asking me if I can have this or that and when I say no they are WHY NOT? and I tell them its not in "my box" and they say that its stupid. Oh well...I guess I really can't have the support from everyone. Everybody else is very supportive and I really appreciate that. I miss socializing with my friends over drinks or dinner but I am okay with it for now. I also miss my CHILLI CHEESE FRIES!!!!---- I will make it.....Thanks again for everyones support.

Weight Loss Update

2007-03-22T21:37:00.000-05:00

I had my first weigh in with the Dr. today. I lost a total of 6lbs. The Dr. was really impressed and told me not to expect such a big loss next week. I told him I understood that the first 1olbs is usually water weight. I will still take the 6lbs water weight or not.
All the temptations at work: I got to work and someone had went to Jack in the Box and bought cheese fries and chicken nuggets. I have been really craving the cheese fries. So I went and made me a shake and drank that. Another hurtle today, two people went to Chipole for lunch and man did it sound/ looked good. Again I grabbed a bar and stayed out of the break-room. Then the last of the temptations today was DONUTS!!! ---not really a big sweet eater but...they sure smelled good. I just kept reminding myself of the greasy layer you get after eating one and that kept me away.

Well, I was talked into taking an abandon kitten home for the night. So that means I will be up every two hrs. for feeding and helping this little one go to the bathroom as well. So much for sleeping in tomorrow. Oh well, I will sleep later this little one needs help. I fed him a few mins ago and he didn't eat much prob. about 3-4cc of food. Maybe he is not a big eater....I did feed him about 5 cc about 2hrs ago. I got him to urinate but still no bm's. I really tried to get him to go but nothing. The girls got him to go at 1:45pm. I will try again soon.

HIS NAME IS PEPSI....he was found behind a coke machine. Just for the record I DID NOT name him and I AM NOT KEEPING HIM!!!!

he is cute......I wish him luck.

Better Day

2007-03-21T22:16:00.000-05:00

My weekly meeting is tomorrow for my weight. Today wasn't as bad as yesterday. I think a lot of it had to do with my throat hurting today so I didn't really feel like eating. I left work 1hr early so I could take a nap before my workout. (boy did i need it) When I got home about 4pm I went straight to bed and slept until 7pm. I woke up to my hubby eating my fav. dip and chips. Arrgghh.. so I stayed in bed until he was done. Joey made a comment on my previous post that said:
"Your hubby needs to get on board with your diet. Before we had kids, John & I went through a workout program to get fit. The only way it worked was to commit to it together. If one of us was still buying & eating the junk food, it never would have worked. Talk to him about it. Surely he wants you to succeed"

A while back I had tried to lose weight and he didn't want to eat the things I bought because "He wasn't the one who was fat" ..so he didn't feel that he needed to eat the healthier choices.
I have always been on my own with my weight. Okay I have been alone on almost everything I do in this marriage...lol He does want me to lose the weight so I can be healthier and happier. But at one time he told me that he would rather me be bulimic or anorexic...I said "why, because I would be thinner?"...and he said "YES"!!.....loser. Trade one sickness for another one...I just don't get it.

I wonder how much water weight I have lost this week. I know that the first 10lbs is usually water. But I am ready to find out. I will update tomorrow with the results. I BETTER NOT HAVE GAINED!!!!! lol

Trying to stay focused

2007-03-20T19:25:00.000-05:00

I woke up feeling really stressed today. I got up and went to work and I felt kind of out of it. I have been fighting a headache since I started this diet. Nothing satisfied me at all today. I think if nobody at work knew what I was doing I so would have gone to Taco Bell today. I hope this mood goes away SOON...at least by tomorrow. I don't have will power when it comes to food. I don't know how to handle my feelings of stress, or sadness, or loneliness without feeding them.

I know its not because I am hungry because I am not hungry.

I got home and I went to the store to get a blender to take to work for my shakes. The shakes taste good but they taste better in the blender.
While we were there my hubby of course bought all the usually junk food that we usually eat and I felt myself wanting it. Kettle Corn Popcorn.....chips with my favorite Lipton onion dip......bread......trail mix......pizza.....arruughhh. I don't want to get back where I was years ago...where everywhere I went it was about food. I don't want to obsess over food anymore. I am really craving salty foods right now...fries(i miss the fries)...chips....popcorn...maybe I should go stick my tongue on the salt shaker just for my salt fix....HA HA

I have to really try and stay focused my goal. ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!! Thursday I go in for my weekly meeting....maybe others will be having the same struggles as me, maybe these feelings are normal. Maybe they will tell us that these feelings will go away.

I got me a pedometer, per my weight counselor. She told me to get one and wear at work to see how many calories I burn just walking around and I can use that for my PA (physical activity). Today I burned 363 cals. as a tech. Not many as I thought. I will see if I burn more cals. working as a receptionist tomorrow. I have to try and burn about 2000cals. week. Its really not that hard ...if you set your mind at it. 300 cals a day ..that equals about 30mins of walking a day.
Tomorrow is another day. It WILL be better!---I must go now and eat "in the box".

My Weekend....not much going on

2007-03-18T19:39:00.000-05:00

Gee...I must be really stressed about this diet because I had another dream where I messed up on my diet. I was cooking for some friends or family (can't remember which) and I was stressing while I was cooking. I was telling them that I couldn't do this because of my diet and that I wasn't strong enough to cook something for them and stay on my diet. The next thing I knew I was eating brisket, potatoes and corn. I was saying see now I have screwed up my diet..... I can never cook for you again!!

In the past I have never stressed this much about any diet to have these types of dreams. I wonder what that means.....anyway
Day 3 on my diet went well except I haven't had all my shakes for the day yet....maybe I should make my next shake a double.. ha ha I haven't been hungry to the point I would consider eating out of "the box". "IN THE BOX" is in reference to the packaged food I buy every week at the Dr.s office. If I eat in "the box" and nothing else than I WILL lose the weight.

I wanted to get up first thing this morning and ride my motorcycle into Austin to do my pet sitting before the traffic got crazy, but my hubby didn't get up with me so I just drove my car. I then when to my friend Karen's house to met her and my friend Paige so we could go to "homo depot" (that's what Cole E Bug, Kareen's son, calls it..he wanted to have his birthday party there). They picked out paint and we left then they picked up something to eat so that they could take it home so I could eat my lunch with them. I am so glad to have very supportive friends.

Once home I told my hubby that I wanted to take the bike (moto) out for just a little bit. So we got ready and we hit the road. We were out for about 1 hr and it was a good ride. (meaning I STAYED ON) I don't know how long it will take me to get comfortable on it but I hope it is soon. I would love to be able to just get on and go without having my hubby to tag along with me. I guess it will take road time and just getting use to what it and I can do.

First Days on my Diet

2007-03-17T18:09:00.000-05:00

On March 15th I had my appt with the weight loss clinic. I bought my boxed food and had my first meeting with the support group. I was so looking forward into starting my quick weight loss on that day but was told not to start until Friday. I was a little disappointed about not starting since I have been waiting for so long. I am just so ready to get started.
My first day on my "diet" went well. I wasn't hungry at all. I did have to pee every 10-20 mins. I had to stop twice on my way home when I never have to. I was thinking at this rate I will never make it home. HA HA. I did noticed that just out of habit I would walk into the break room and see munchies on the table and I could see and feel my arm moving out to grab one. Its funny how when you are not hungry you still grab for something to eat. Someone from work asked me if I would go out for drinks with a few people for a happy hour and I gladly said no. I am not ready for that yet. I am so use to going out to eat all the time even my husband said that he would meet me in Austin and we could eat something. It is going to take some getting use to this. I think my hardest time is going to be dealing with the stress at home and the feeling of loneliness and boredom. As long as I stay busy I will not have time to think about eating.
Last night I had a dream that I went out with a friend and we went to eat. I didn't realize that I was eating chicken nuggets....I remember saying in my dream OH MY GOD...I SCREWED UP MY DIET.....I was so upset and so angry at myself. When I woke up I had to think...did i mess up or was i just dreaming.... That was so funny. I have only been on this diet for ONE DAY! But I guess I am really worried that I am going to mess this up. I have been trying to keep myself focused and stay on track. I am taking it one day at a time and stay focused on getting through the day.

I was talking to someone about when her sister was losing wt and whenever someone would comment on her weight loss something in her made her quit losing the weight. In the past when I was trying to lose weight I noticed that happened to me as well. I wonder why that happened. You think getting compliments would keep you motivated but for me and I guess others it doesn't work that way. I want to hear that it is noticeable but if it makes me stop then maybe I don't want to hear it. Maybe I need a different type of support...hmmmm

On Thursday Dominic (dance instructor) and I worked with a professional dancer, Hunter Johnson. We are learning a new dance routine so Hunter was helping us out with a routine. It has a little tango and some quick-step in this song. Not many people do the quick-step but I'm not scared...HA HA..Its going to be a fun dance. We are planning on doing this one in August so we have a while to work on it. Plus this will give me a chance to lose some of this weight.

THE STRESS OF IT ALL

2007-03-11T10:26:00.000-05:00

I have been stressing these last few days. (not to mention all the other stresses in my life)...I went to the "girly" Dr. this week and I have been putting it off for a while. I was about 6 months late for my exam. I really dislike going because the last couple of times I have gone I get so sad and depressed. Why you ask. Well...I go in there and I sit and as I wait I look around the room and there things that remind me that I will probably never have a child of my own. (Due to my age and my situation with my marriage.) Of course the walls are really thin and you can hear what is going on in the next room. The last two times I could hear the little sweet heartbeat of the unborn baby and the squeals of the expecting parents. Boy it just pulls at my heart.
So this time when I went, I was suprised that I didn't get to hear a baby's heartbeat. I was thinking...WOW I made it through this visit without a tear...yeah me. Until...the Dr. comes in and gets more information and then asked..."so you hanven't had a mamogram have you?" No...(i asked with a question)...she then says well....."it's time"...I laughted and said "what...I'm not that old yet.." as I held in my tears....she said well actually you should of had one at age 35. After my exam on her way out the door she said to me..."well, go get'm squished"...great thanks.
As I left I got in my car and drove to work. On my way I focused on my head on the steering wheel and I noticed that my hand...it looked......it looks ......OLD!!!! Oh my I am getting old and I cried. Yes it sounds like I am PMSing but not for another few weeks.

All that was on Thursday, then on Friday...I had my dance lesson. Prior to getting there I had been tearing up off and on. So I finally went in and of course Dom (my dance instructor) noticed that I wasn't myself and told me to let it go and we are going to have a great time....So I did...I thought. We started to warm up with the Triple time swing and I messed up and I turned around and took a deep breath to try and relax and as I exhaled so did the tears. He asked me if I was okay and I started laughing and crying saying I was fine. I don't think he knew what to do for me. He tried to give me tissues and a small hug to which I said that I was fine and that I have been just stressed and to give me a second. We got back into dance position and I told him not to look at me and then we started laughing. The rest of the lesson went better with more laughs. After the lesson I gave him a hug and told him that I was sorry for being a "girl" and he said it was okay....Talk about being embarrassed. I am usually good about holding my "breakdowns" for my ride in the car where I have time to myself. But I guess I just couldn't help it.

I think I really need to take a vacation...somewhere on a beach. I have be really wanting to go and just listen to the waves and smell the salty water. I really miss it.

I talked to my mom today and she was babysitting my brothers kids and they were going to go on a picnic. It sounded like fun. I just wish I had someone who would really like to do things like that. (oh I feel the stress coming again) I will go for now.

Pics from the Showcase Feb 17, 2007 in Austin

2007-03-07T19:37:00.000-06:00

I really haven't had much to say lately, so sorry I haven't written.

I do have a few pictures to share from the Showcase on Feb. 17th 2007. If anyone has watched "Dancing with The Stars" will know who Tony Dovolani and Elena Grinenko are. They are the current U.S. and World Rhythm Champions. Both have performed on "Dancing with The Stars" for the past two seasons and currently appear on "America's Ballroom Challenge" ----I haven't seen that one. They were the judges at our Showcase....They also did a great show for us at the end. I can't wait to see the the video of the every ones routine.

<-------This is Tony....He is so tall and so down to earth. During the competition he took the microphone away from the announcer and started announcing the next dancers. He had a lot of fun...He messed up my name the first time then after that he made sure he pronounced it correctly.

Well, my pipes came in finally for my motorcycle. Jerry put them on and OH MY...they are sure loud!! I love the way they sound. I can't wait to get on it and start riding.

Tomorrow I have my first appointment with my weight management. They are going to do blood work and I think an EKG, get me set up with a support group...I will meet with a person who I will meet with every week. I will also have to do routine Dr. visits, checking on vital signs and lab work and EKGs. I have to go to EVERY week. My day is on Thursday. Before you know it ..I will be wearing one of those very SLINKY dresses for my dancing..... HA HA!!!---doubt that....

Walking the Dog

2007-02-26T18:43:00.000-06:00

Today I worked out with my personal trainer for about 1 hr. Then I drove home and decided to go walking. So I gathered up my "problem child" (my dog, Mya) and decided that I would work on her too. I went to the school here in Lockhart and we walked the track. She was a mess. She was so scared when we started and growled and barked at a few people (which I quickly corrected). She couldn't stand for anyone to run/walk up behind us and she would just flip around to see and watch them. I again made her focus to the front of us and continued walking, by the third lap she was doing MUCH better. After each lap we would sit and I would make her sit and watch everything around. On the fourth lap when we sat down she actually laid down and look very relaxed. Wow what an accomplishment for her (and me). I will try and start taking her out with me to walk. I think it will help her start listening to me more.....I hope.

New Template

2007-02-25T22:13:00.000-06:00

I was afraid of trying a new template but I decided to try it out. Joey has found some very cute ones and I was really starting to hate my "pink" template. It wasn't hard at all to figure out how to fix things on it either. It was quite simple. I picked this one because I LOVE the beach.

I remember back when I was younger we use to camp out on the beach (back when you could put up a tent right on the beach) . I love the sound of the waves and the smell of the salt water as I drifted off to sleep at night and waking up to the sound of the waves and the sea gulls. I didn't care about the sand or the fact that we didn't have air condition. I even didn't care that I every time we ate there was sand in our food. There was just something about the waves that just relaxed me ...it was so peaceful. I also remember after being at the beach all day long, we would always stop and get fried chicken for dinner. I miss those days.........